Check out these statements and see what answer you have to that: “yes’ or “no”   

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  1.     There are personal issues that I cannot solve myself
  2.     I have lost sense of joy and enjoyment of life
  3.     In last five years I have been cheated, divorced by a loved one
  4.     My loved one died recently
  5.     I can’t have long, serious relationship with other people
  6.     Life seems meaningless to me
  7.     I’m often sick (more than once a year)
  8.     I work hard, stay at work when everyone left, or work on weekends
  9.     I have bad relationships with my parents
  10.     In childhood or adolescence I have experienced parental divorce or death of a loved one
  11.     I cannot forget the hurtful situations in my life and I  replay them again and again
  12.     I find it hard to fall asleep,
  13.     I have an insomnia
  14.     I feel guilty
  15.     I feel insecure in dealing with other people
  16.     I feel lonely
  17.     I’m often dissatisfied with myself and my life
  18.     I avoid conflict, I do not know how to protect my rights
  19.     I enjoy dangerous situations (skydiving, scuba diving, fast driving and so on.)
  20.     I have decreased or increased sexuality
  21.     I have fear to die or go crazy to live a short life

If you have YES for at least 3 statements - you probably need some psychological assistance. I would gladly help you to resolve your psychological problems. If you like you can  SET UP FREE initial session online here 

You can overcome it!

Psychotherapy - is on one hand a relationships, on the other, it’s a service. It is a job that has to be paid, the money included in the process of helping the client and play the role of psycho-therapeutic factor: even for the poor man, it is important to make the amount of money paid for each session substantial.

b2ap3_thumbnail_20140710-171756.jpgFor effective therapeutic relationship, the question of money - as well as other issues of the psycho-therapeutic contract - should be clearly discussed at the outset: it sets limits (but in order to be successful psychotherapy it’s important to have optimal distance between a client and a psychologist who just creates the fact that the customer pays for psychotherapy; it sets frame of work (it is a job, not a miracle, magic show, adoption or "something that will make me") and brings many other benefits to the client.

The answer to the question "what the psychologist takes the money for?" Is simple: for his professional work.

Psychologist is not someone who "loves people for money"; he gets paid for not "help" or "compassion" (this can come from friends or family), but for their professional work in which he applies the skills, techniques, and knowledge. For knowledge what to do and ability to do it.

If the psychologist did not have a clear understanding of the issue, he does not give complete information to the client and the client will not be helped.

Such a complication (like almost every complication of relations) harms the process of psychotherapy.

Among other things, the psycho-therapeutic space - a place where you can discuss any topic, also depends on the client. And since the subject of money (no matter how not or very important it felt) plays a significant role in our lives (and, regardless of whether we are focus on money, or have chosen path of non-materialistic life ), it is something not only can be but have to be discussed in therapy.

It’s important to discuss this topic within psychotherapy to people for whom money is for one reason or another "sore spot." For example, for generally stingy people. Or - on the contrary - he is earning well, compulsively wasting money and lives much worse than he can because of that. Or client is constantly afraid of being cheated; or maybe he really is regularly cheated. Or his favorite scenario - attempts to "buy relationships." Or people with high qualifications and extensive experience constantly earns less than is actually worth, and even works for the minimum amount or altogether free. Or the client believes that he cannot spend money on himself. Or one spends only to on the "necessary" (for example, health or education, but not on vacation, or quality of life improvement, or psychotherapy).

When discussing with the client payment of psychotherapy these topics usually come up. So first talk about the payment - this is the one thread, taking which you can unwind the tangle of internal problems of the client, it is a step towards customer’s benefit.

But if the subject of money is not understood by the psychologist, the client will not only benefit, but also feels uncomfortable: he fears he will "appear greedy" or "poor", "gives bad impression", "offends the psychologist." And not knowing how to properly ask questions regarding payment (and whether it is appropriate to ask them at all!)
Despite the fact that the initiative of the client in psychotherapy is very important, it is the case when the psychologist must at the outset very clearly tell us about your professional proposal and make sure that the client is clear.

Responsibility of the customer is that he has to decide whether he fit these monetary conditions or not.

Fear of paying psychotherapist comes from fear to give money "for nothing». For “listening”, for simple «talk" or worse for the “manipulation of their own vulnerable psyche”.

This is not surprising. After all psychotherapy - a commodity that can neither be tasted nor felt; it is a service where we can’t request a free sample or refund.

Anxiety about being deceived is very high. Fear of giving money for something not as valuable due to the apparent simplicity of psychotherapy (often a reaction to the first meeting with a therapist or psychologist-consultant looks like "is that all? But where is the great miracle?") And its duration also frustrates. (Psychotherapy is frustrating because it cannot meet unrealistic expectations of fast success).

Usually every second person believes that "he is well versed in psychology." Comparing his ability to manipulate, or the ability to give good advice to psychologist, what have been received from books or on the half-year courses (but not the skills, equipment and other necessary base for psychological practice), people often refer to psychotherapy
with words   "I can do it as well." And who would want to pay for skills that you already have?

With this “I can do it” attitude people do not believe in "special knowledge" that is, for example, doctors have (the ability to prescribe drugs, the use of sophisticated tools for the diagnosis and even the infamous white (green) robes which
already hints at a kind of caste). I think no need to explain that I don’t want to underestimate the work of the doctor, but to say that only that in terms of credibility - the doctors are in a better position.

At the same time, psychologists have no external dress code, special procedures and the promise of a miracle that will definitely help. People gladly pay all kinds of miracle makers that promise miracles, everybody want results without doing anything.

 Why do you need a psychologist? What psychologist takes money for?

There is a common opinion about psychotherapy (mostly people who have never worked with a psychologist) say "For what they are taking money? It's just a conversation! ".

Some clients say "Oh, you are making nice money per hour" "Maybe I should become psychologists too?"

Often, people who say this, do not take into account that psychologist really works every minute of that time (what is similar  to oral interpreter, to my mind, every second he processes words, analyses various scenarios and gives feedback)

He cannot switch, have a smoke break, eat, play solitaire, read jokes or talk on the phone. He cannot even just "think about something else, be lazy. This is truly an hourly fee.

And much more: all this time it should be fully involved in the other person life, empathizing with him, and - often - at the same time, simultaneously do substantial analytical work.

Even such "just listening" - in itself is a work. Rarely people share nice stories of life, usually people share bad things and bitter, negative feelings of very high intensity (affects, "overflowing" feelings), which staked life difficult: when we all face acute or prolonged grief, in pain, sickness, when it hurts people around, usually natural reaction is to stay away from person like that.

b2ap3_thumbnail_4e70284cf6398f80628ae2f70ddb284c.jpgWell, at the end, psychotherapy is a technical work, which uses special knowledge and skills. This work, among other things includes special conversation skills and has certain rules.

Therapist has to work with the resistance and defenses, which is to circumvent the one hand protection (sometimes for years prevent changes), and on the other not to break them together with a man. In addition, a psychologist gives feedback; helps find a resource offers experiments, exercises, and assignments.

It - it is work that requires great emotional and energetic contribution.

And yes, all the practical psychologists learn not to burn out from objective difficulties that exist in this work.

Customer pays for psychotherapy, first, in order to get the services of a good quality professional that is willing to work with him.

Secondly, in order to make the process of psychotherapy helpful for him.

Payment terms - an important factor affecting a number of parameters of the process of psychotherapy that can help or hinder, enhance or reduce its effectiveness. The relationship between a client and a psychologist with well-built borders, bilateral responsibility are healing for most customers. And payment psychotherapy work for that kind of relationship.

Payment and symmetry

Psychotherapy - is an unusual relationship. Attention focuses on one person - the client. On his
b2ap3_thumbnail_1.jpgfeelings, issues, history, goals, desires and capabilities. Or on its contact with a psychologist on how exactly it contact works. This relationship is for the benefit of the client focused of his benefits.

The therapist can say about himself, show his presence, communicate his feelings, reactions and experiences, but only if he believes that this will promotes client and be beneficial to him (not just to "share" or remember that "I also had something interesting" or "important").

And in such a situation of obvious asymmetry, relationships in order to be healthy have to be paid in different way, to bring symmetry to them. If there is no payment - that is unethical and unhealthy situation, and in such a situation, psychotherapy has no place. Payment in this case helps to set a balance.

Payment and responsibility for the process

Responsibility for the process of psychotherapy is on both sides. Responsibility of the psychologist is that he must be professional (know his business) and comply with the ethical principles in relation to his clients.

Customer assumes responsibility for what the payment on time and attendance of meetings for his own development.

And the responsibility of the customer is a measure of his mental health. As said W. Glosser "Mental health – is a responsible and realistic perception of the world." Result of prolonged psychotherapy is, among other things, the adoption of human authorship of his life and is responsibility for this authorship.

When the customer pays for his psychotherapy - he commits a responsible act. Constantly performed actions gradually accumulate a certain style of behavior - responsible in relation to himself: paid process, as practice shows, it is harder to sabotage and easier to integrate. And of course responsibility in communication with the other person - in this case with a psychologist develops responsible character. This positive experience (and a liability to others) as part of the therapy competently will be transferred to other areas of life - that is, serve as a model for a healthy relationship with you and with others.

Payment and borders

in order psychotherapy to be successful it needs optimal distance between a client and a psychologist, which is set by payment for psychotherapy. It sets working relationships (its work, not a miracle, not "adoption" or "something that will make me better").

Payment and security

Man does not exist in isolation from the world, and being in a continuous process of exchange. And when two people are in relationships and interactions, each of them gives something and gets something. Even if a man says that he gets nothing, but only pays, it is not quite true: as a rule, if you ask in detail, he gets satisfaction, self-assertion, self-worth, or something else. However, practice shows that people of any profession who are constantly working for free or for an amount that does not compensate for their efforts, in most cases begin to accumulate stress, even if the work brings the joy of creativity and satisfaction. This accumulated tension significantly lowers motivation and performance.

Therefore, the most secure relationship for the client - this is when the psychologist loves his work (only the money for the quality work is also not enough) and gets decent payment for it.

There is another reason why the paid psychotherapy is safer for the customer. When a man does not work for the money. You do not know why he is working. What are their problems, he "acts out" or decides by working with you, what he aspires to? In fact, that's exactly what mothers warn their children not to take candy from man on the street, yes, there is a chance that his man uncle just kind and loves children. But there is a chance that he is not.  

Payment and motivation

it’s not enough to show intention once. It should be supported all the time.

People are always more receptive to the knowledge and change, for which they had to pay. Time of the paid consultation is usually used more efficiently than of one that is free. And what has been discussed or realized for the money always harder displace and forget. That is work of the client, results that he paid for.


Decide to change their lives much harder than decide to go three times a week to the gym. Aching muscles, the banal "reluctance" and lack of habit, do not go in any comparison with the fear of a deep restructuring of individual resistance and the sense that his familiar world is changing.

To change something in your life, you need to make effort, including money. Therefore, psychotherapy should expect a tangible amount paid by client in proportion to the level of his wealth.

I can say that sometimes there are clients that I don’t want to take the money from - they give so much professionally or emotionally, but it must be done for their benefit.

Each psychologist has number clients with whom he works for symbolic amount of money. Usually these are most interesting from professional perspective cases or they are highly motivated people.

Why professionalism is worth so much?

Can I find cheap and good specialist? Yes you can. But it happens very seldom. In my case – Skype sessions give you opportunity to pay Ukrainian tariffs for good specialist, what can be substantially different from regular therapy prices in your country.

Usually a good professional is expensive. Yes, there are exceptions, but the rule is costly.

First, the money makes some qualification. For example, it prevents people to come from curiosity, and without real motivation.

It helps weed out low-motivated clients: those who were «persuaded to go"; who came to fix someone else (wife, husband, and children), and not to work on themselves. Or those who came to prove to themselves that "this does not help."

This requirement is often necessary also because the physical capability of the psychologist is often limited.

I’ve mentioned earlier what emotional and intellectual resources, which requires a process of concentration in psychotherapy.

Not every psychologist can (even if you really want to) take customers at home.

Therefore, the price often depends on the rental. (This is obvious advantage of Skype sessions, by the way)

Finally, the maintenance of professional level and professional improvement also cost money.

In order to be a good psychologists not enough get a degree some years ago (even in the best school)

Personality of psychologist is a too in his work with client. Like any other too lit needs to be kept in order.

In the work of psychologist there are objective difficulties (emotional overload from a collision with affects and strong negative feelings, "burnout" and others). We also need personal therapy,supervision and intervisions (sessions with colleagues). All this costs money.Good psychologist has to use all of the above on the regular basis to be in good professional shape.

That is,not it “would be nice to have” but is a necessary part of the professional practice.

We have the entire time look for good psychologist training: new forms of therapy, books, seminars, etc. As any other professional we have need for professional growth. A professional growth.

After reading this article it’s up to you to decide if it’s cheap or expensive.Everyone defines their willingness to pay and how much one is willing to pay for someone's work hour. And, perhaps, be ready to pay means you are ready to receive.

sources:
©Samir Pavlova (blog in Russian)
http://budurada.livejournal.com/90516.html
http://budurada.livejournal.com/90923.html
http://budurada.livejournal.com/94901.html
http://budurada.livejournal.com/95076.html
http://budurada.livejournal.com/95332.html
http://budurada.livejournal.com/98558.html
http://budurada.livejournal.com/99161.html





In psychotherapy and coaching exists an agreement or contract.
A contract formulates expectations of therapist / coach and client.
Usually before work begins we agree on a contract (often verbally, but better when these expectations are written out)

3 parts of contract to start Skype psychotherapy:


Organizational
In this part we define the location, date, time, and format of payment. Place is Skype, the date and time we define during the preliminary conversation (15 min) in Skype. Then agree on the form of payment. I'm working on a prepaid basis.
Professional
Includes answers to the following questions:
1) what do I as a customer want from a therapist / coach?
2) What professional help do I want? What do I need?
3) How do I know what I'm doing / did what I want / like?
Psychological
It is an obligation to comply with personal equality in the work of the position I’m-okay - You're okay. I’m not a guru, doctor or teacher. We are two equal right partners working together to help you reach your goals.

 

 

 

 

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Often clients ask how many session they need to solve their issue.

To understand what you need, it might be helpful to look at different levels of psychotherapy.

Levels are not starting from consulting or giving psychological advice.

First level is psychotherapeutic counseling usually appearing on the actual problem of the person, we work with actual situation. Goal is to relieve acuity of the problem what usually takes up to 10 sessions.  3 - 5 sessions usually is enough to develop strategy of problem solution and find resources that client has to solve problem. Main focus is present, with perspective in future.

Second level is small psychotherapy that lasts from 10 to 30 sessions (less often 50). This is slower and deep psychotherapy, work with basic conflict. Because fast progress to the depth can be difficult this therapy needs more time. We are going to childhood, relationships with parents, deep mechanisms, scenarios. Focus of work – past, with perspective on present and future.

Third level is big psychotherapy or therapy of relationships and by relationships. This is even slower and deeper process and starts from 30 sessions and can last (by desire of client) all his life as a supporting therapy, sometimes pausing for months and years. Focus of work – relationships with therapist as a mirror to relationships with the world and himself. Results of such therapy are not that obvious as on the first and second level, but client usually express reality of becoming “stronger, confident, and more balanced”.

 

 Many of my clients come to therapy because they encounter a barrier in their lives that they can't get past. Others encounter a loss or crisis that sends their whole life into a turmoil. Everybody experiences loss and deprivation at some point in life. Whether it's the loss of a job that has been a source of pride, the unexpected ending of a relationship, the birth of a child, loss of a loved one, or diagnosis of a chronic illness, you experience a sense of deprivation and overwhelm. You may feel deprived of time, money, opportunities, or companionship. Life can no longer be as it was before. This can create a sense of panic and helplessness. Previous coping skills no longer work and it's as if the ground has become shaky underneath your feet. 

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Contacts

Mikhail Dickey
psychotherapist online

+(38) 096 216 94 11

mikhail.dickey@gmail.com

Skype: m_dickey

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