What expectations are we talking about? For example, these are the child’s expectations that the parents will finally understand what you are going through and hear what you want to convey to them, or vice versa, you cannot understand them. Maybe you are looking for such understanding from your colleagues, your boss, or your spouse. Or maybe the dream you have been striving for for a long time has disappeared like morning fog?
In such a situation of loss, it seems that everything loses its meaning, motivation, energy and aspirations disappear. No one can help you in a situation where you really need help.
In order to experience such a state, it is important to separate yourself as an individual and your feelings about this.
It is important to understand that you are not your feelings, feelings are what you experience and that is normal.
It's like trying to swim across the ocean with someone who refuses to paddle. The main thing is not to panic, but to take action. You need to accept the entire emotional severity of the situation, but not throw yourself out of the boat into the ocean and not do anything suicidal, but pull yourself together and find meaning in what is happening.
The sense of control we strive for in our lives does not extend to the lives of other people. It is important to stop idealizing others and learn to see their imperfections and limitations.
Perhaps your spouse has other values that you did not notice because you idealized them, your dad cannot take responsibility, and you do not accept your children as they are, wanting them see your fantasies come true. Regardless of your efforts, others are not obliged to appreciate and recognize them.
The secret to dealing with disappointment is not to be charmed. The greater the gap between your fantasy and reality, the more painful and deeper the despair. Psychotherapy helps you get rid of illusions about yourself and others, reconciling you with reality. You will be able to avoid wasting your energy trying to control what is uncontrollable and will learn to enjoy relationships with imperfect people and an imperfect life.
Despite what your companions do in the ocean of life, you can learn to swim towards your goal. To schedule a consultation, click on the button below.
Take action and you will succeed!
Date of update: 04/18/2024 Mikhail Dickey - certified psychologist - psychotherapist - coach. Read about the author