If there was little love in childhood

About how important it is to be accepted and loved unconditionally in childhood.

Have you found yourself thinking that romantic songs often resemble lullabies? “I will not give you to anyone, I will take you in my arms, you are mine” - a line from a parent, “I am yours, take me in your arms, do not give me to anyone” - a line for a little girl - a child. How many of us have been loved with unconditional love so much that we are completely nourished by it for the rest of our lives? Many of us still carry our childhood scars, the lack of love and unconditional acceptance in childhood.

Girls' childhood ends earlier and has more restrictions than boys' childhood. But in return they put into them the dream that someday a Real Man (Loving Parent) will come and then he will heal all the wounds, quench the pain, bathe him in love from head to toe, and take the whole burden of responsibility off his shoulders.

This is such a strong emotional experience that almost any woman can be hooked on it by those who emotionally traumatize them.

And the girl lives with this dream even when the third and tenth man hurts her again and again. There is always hope that a loving parent is still walking somewhere, missing me somewhere, “After all, it doesn’t happen in the world that children are lost.”

You just need to become even better, work on yourself, and then he will definitely notice, he will definitely come, pick you up, hug you, and won’t give it to anyone. The one who will fill me with love and solve all my problems. After all, I behaved well, I didn’t cry, I deserved it.

Girls carry this sweet dream throughout their lives, and for the sake of it they endure bullying and violence against their personality. Ready to endure anything for the love of their parents. Just like being held hostage by terrorists.

A woman in such a relationship with a man is the one who is officially allowed to remain an eternal child. Women pay a huge price for this - the price of losing themselves in relationships, without the right to vote.

Sometimes you’re lucky - you can maintain your projection, you’ll have a comfortable life, and you won’t get hit much. Parents are like that, today they shouted, tomorrow they caressed me. Despite the fact that a person understands everything, a woman is ready to endure everything for the dream of childhood.

But what about men in such relationships?

Men are encouraged to project onto women the figure of their inner child, which symbolizes weakness, lively spontaneity, emotionality and creativity. Disconnection from the inner child creates a feeling of omnipotence and invulnerability, but understandably limits personal growth.

If you do not engage in therapy and healing of this internal childhood trauma, you can spend years moving from one partner to another in search of the “ideal parent.” It is important that the experience of love and unconditional acceptance that occurs in therapy stops this irrepressible hunger and longing for childhood and helps a person grow up personally.

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