It seems that the idea that there could be any benefit to illness is quite absurd. After all, everyone knows that illness is something extremely unpleasant and causes a certain amount of suffering.

In fact, visible illness may simply be an expression of unconscious needs that cannot otherwise be satisfied.

Besides the obvious inconveniences, any disease or symptom brings a significant benefit to a person. For example, this may be attention and care from loved ones who previously did not pay any attention to a healthy person. Or the feeling that you are an important and significant person - since everyone around you is fussing and agreeing on how to solve your problems.

We can say that illness is a way to stand out, to become different, not like others.

If it is difficult to get a feeling of significance and attention at work or in the family, then with the help of illness this need can be easily fulfilled.

You got sick - and now everyone is talking only about you, about your well-being.

When you are strong and self-sufficient, it seems awkward to ask for help and attention from others, everyone expects you to take care of others without expecting help for yourself. And when you run out of strength to save everyone around you, colds, flu, and heart problems come to the rescue. Here, your loved ones will no longer be able to get away with it - food will be served right in bed, the room will be filled with flowers, and there will be time to watch movies that have been put off for a long time.

If deteriorating health does not attract attention in any way, then the psyche can worsen the condition and even lead to an ambulance, if necessary, still forcing loved ones to pay attention to the patient.

Spending on medications, tests, and procedures may hide guilt for the fact that a person takes care of himself. After all, of course, it’s justified to take care of yourself and spend money when you’re sick, unlike a situation when you just want to buy yourself something nice - new shoes, a trip to the spa, or something like that. Usually, unreasonable spending is condemned by others as wasted money; there are always more rational and justified expenses on which money should be spent. And a person wants to spend it on what he personally wants, and not on what others want. Therefore, illness is a socially acceptable way out of this dilemma. The opportunity to take care of yourself without being judged by others.

Another secondary benefit is not to solve unpleasant matters, but to postpone them indefinitely. For example, if a new job or position scares you, you may get sick so as not to take responsibility or be responsible for possible failures.  

This may not only be your illness, but the illness of your loved ones - as well as the system in which you are located. If you are caring for a relative who will not recover or is generally chronically ill, this may justify the absence of your own family or loved one, or failure at work.

If your relationship is on the verge of divorce, then the illness of your son or daughter can temporarily postpone the divorce that frightens you (children often play the role of a symptom in the family system, that is, they resolve the conflict between parents through their behavior, including illness, if necessary). If problems in the parents' relationship are not resolved, then the child's illness becomes chronic, stabilizing the family system with the help of an unhealthy solution.

A secondary benefit in such a child’s illness may also be the justification of one’s failures through the status of “parent-caring-for-a-sick-child.”

Of course, not all diseases can be classified as those that create secondary benefits, but such a possibility is not excluded.

It is illness that often provokes a person to radical changes in his life, shedding defenses and fantasies about himself.

Sometimes this is the only opportunity for the psyche to bring a person to an awareness of reality and begin to actively do something about it.

The body is difficult to deceive - it is the body that acts as an unbiased witness to the conflicts occurring in life.

I am far from thinking that all illnesses can be viewed in terms of secondary gain, but often illness carries some kind of message that the body is screaming for you to hear.< /p>

Viewing a disease from this perspective requires a certain amount of courage.

Ask yourself: What needs of mine can I satisfy with the help of illness?

Perhaps if you hear the honest answer to this question and find a way to meet these needs in a healthy way, you can get rid of the disease.

The symptom always disappears when it is no longer needed.

This is especially true for psychosomatic diseases - those for which doctors cannot explain the causes.

If you spend time and effort researching the psychological causes of your illness - follow the hard path - at the end of it you will have health, not only physical, but also psychological.

I have successful experience helping clients with psychosomatic problems where understanding hidden secondary benefits and working to find alternative ways to meet needs leads to the development of new behaviors and symptoms that have been hindering them for many years live pass.

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