Psychological self-help or the myth of Munchausen.

My friends often ask me: Are people really not able to deal with their problems themselves? Why do they need psychologists and psychotherapists? How do people who don’t go to psychologists cope with problems?

I usually answer this that in fact there are several strategies: endure, ask for help from friends or family, or run away from problems into work, alcohol, or some other way to forget yourself.

This is all great, and it helps a lot, there’s only one problem: it helps temporarily ((

Patience tends to run out, and when the “spring unclenches”, it can seriously injure your psyche and possibly the psyche of the people around you, and possibly your life and health. The most annoying thing is that when this “release of steam” occurs, it does not help solve the problem at all and does not help either understand or remove its cause. This means that after some time you will accumulate “steam” again and again and again you will release it in a way that traumatizes yourself or others.

In this sense, communicating with friends is safer for life and often more effective than simply keeping the problem to yourself and doing nothing.  However, this approach also has a serious drawback - namely, the advice of friends often has nothing to do with your reality, but only with their own, and therefore is often completely banal or unrealistic, and therefore does not really help, but often only cause irritation, despite the love and sincere care of your loved ones who really want to help you.  At the same time, friends and family often cannot see the true cause of the situation, but see those reasons that seem most likely to them, and they often simply do not have methods to help you see the true reason for yourself.

As for the various ways to forget, this has not yet helped anyone solve the problem. As a rule, the problem only gets worse since it is also superimposed with problems associated with addiction, money, health, or relationships with people that have been damaged as a result.  And although for some short time a feeling of relief is created, but in the end the problem falls on you with double force, increasing the tension.

So can we, like Munchausen, pull ourselves out of the swamp of problems? Gather your courage, tense up, grab yourself by the hair and pull up, and find yourself on solid ground?

It’s not for nothing that there are many psychological self-help books from various psychologists that clearly hint that Baron M.’s method does work. Of course, self-help techniques are extremely useful; even psychotherapists teach them to their clients during their work. 

But is this really enough to get out of the sucked swamp of problems?

As a rule, by the time he realizes the need for help, a person is already pretty tired and simply does not find the inner strength to fight. He needs a resource (that is, internal strength) in order to make changes.

The second important point is that in order to pull yourself out of the swamp, you need to understand where the swamp is located from which you need to pull yourself out. Often the superficial problems at the top of the weed seem more obvious, but as we all know, the weed needs to be pulled out by the roots to see long-term results.

So why does a person, as a rule, not see the roots of his problem?

As you know, we cannot look at ourselves from the outside, because we are inside our situations. Due to emotional involvement in the problem, a person cannot see important aspects of the problem even with a strong desire. Everyone has blind spots. Important aspects escape awareness due to habitual response scenarios, habits, and character.

You can see them while working with a psychotherapist, get so-called “insights” - that is, an understanding of the causes of problems, and finally see your “blind spots.”

The specialist performs several functions: a branch that is extended to a drowning person in a swamp so that he can grab onto it and get some kind of support. But at the same time, you need to get out of the swamp yourself; this is the client’s job. Therefore, a psychologist is support and support, help in finding resources, who at the same time plays the role of a mirror reflecting the client’s situation, so that he sees a way out. For this reason, the psychologist does not voice advice from his life. It is the analysis tools that the psychotherapist gives that help the person himself see the optimal solutions from his own reality.

As you already understand, self-medication is an interesting and exciting activity, but of little use. It is advisable not to bring it to a point where you need a psychiatrist, not a psychotherapist. Prevention is usually cheaper. You don’t wait for the tooth to completely disappear, but put fillings. It’s the same with psychological health - it’s more useful to deal with problems before you lose a lot of strength, energy and money.

Although, of course, the choice is always in the hands of a person - you can endure a toothache or rinse with alcohol or look for some other creative solutions. This is your life and it’s up to you to decide what to do with it.

Take action and you will succeed!