Methods for processing negative emotions

Perhaps you have already reached such a stage in your awareness that you can track when negative emotions arise in you.

That's not bad. But what to do next with this information? Keeping it to yourself is bad, and pouring it out on others is also bad.

Are there any methods for processing negativity without suppressing yourself or upsetting loved ones?

The simplest method is to speak out this emotion. It's good if you use deep breathing techniques. However, if the emotion is strong enough, then this technique is unlikely to help you.

Postponing the processing of emotions “for later” when the feelings have subsided also does not work, since it is difficult to retain negativity, it is toxic.

Here is a method that will help you in this case.

It is important to understand that negativity arises when there is an unfulfilled need. Conflict is always a difference in potential between what is desired and what is real. Emotion is a signal light of such a conflict, hinting to us that it needs to be resolved. In a sense, this is a manifestation of our desire for comfort and fulfillment of our needs. We mobilize to get rid of discomfort and this is how anger and aggression arise.

There is a lot of energy in such emotions. And this is not without reason - after all, we need it to eliminate discomfort, as nature intended.

All the techniques that people usually use - switching gears, walking, breathing, etc. - are aimed at reducing the level of this energy.

However, you can not waste your own negative energy, but figure out what it is directed at.

In practice, this looks like talking to yourself. Ask yourself a question addressing this energy (emotion) - “what do you want to protect now?”, “what need do you want to satisfy?” Reflection itself already activates the frontal lobes of the brain, which include rational thinking and will.  This will already take up some of the negative energy. Fighting an emotion activates it even more - as is known from Newton's first law - the force of action is equal to the force of reaction. Therefore, when you try to hear what unsatisfied need is hidden behind the emotion, accept it rather than fight it - this further reduces the energy level. Having found the answer to this question, you need to support the suffering part of yourself, which gave rise to this emotion.

 Let's look at this technique using an example:

For example, I am angry with my office neighbor. Perhaps this is because I need peace, but he makes noise? Can I expect it to stop making noise? Hardly. But what I realize is that my need for silence is not satisfied now, and this is important for my health. Can I satisfy my need now? Probably not, but I can acknowledge its presence. After this, you can close your eyes and relax, and breathe deeply using deep breathing techniques.

The difference from the technique at the beginning of the article is that you do not breathe and relax in order to “overcome” the emotion, but do this in order to “hear” it, “recognize” and accept it . That is, the focus is shifting. You will notice that with the acceptance of anger, its energy will be transformed, and the anger will gradually fade away or turn into some other, more positive emotion, less energetically saturated. Often these needs are the needs of the inner child, who just needs to be mentally “patted”, “hug.”

 Ideally, of course, you need to fill your need when the opportunity arises (in this example, somewhere to sit in silence after work)  otherwise, the unmet need will again raise the energy in negative emotion.

Accepting yourself and your emotions is an important skill that will definitely help you better understand yourself and your true needs.

If it is difficult for you to “get to the bottom” of the causes of negativity and you need deeper research and work, I can help you with online psychotherapy or online EMDR therapy,&nbsp ; which successfully helps to work through traumatic experiences and feelings. To sign up for a consultation, click on the button below.

Take action and you will succeed!