The victim complex arises from the desire to be correct in order to gain approval from people. This is, of course, hidden egoism, a claim that you are morally better than others, almost a saint)). You've probably met mothers in your life who “live for their children” and constantly tell their children about this. They become voluntary  sacrifice, they go to the scaffold, to which no one called.

At the same time, such a person carefully calculates his emotional sacrifices, “the youth that I ruined,” for the sake of his husband, children,  work or something else. Such a person carefully controls how others treat him. In a sense, this is complete dependence on other people and at the same time, a demonstration of one’s independence.  Everyone should understand “how much I have done for you!”.  This can be said out loud in the form of hysteria, or demonstrated in such a suppressed form of downtrodden submission - “look, everyone, how I suffer for your sake!”

Compensation is required for everything, but it is not given, illusions are destroyed, projections are destroyed. People, without knowing it, destroy all the castles in the air of such a person. The victim falls into depression, despair, and disappointment. He was deceived, deceived. But again and again he builds his destroyed castle in the air, patches up the holes. More and more demonstrating how everyone supposedly depends on him. “You couldn’t survive without me. You can’t eat, drink, or do laundry without me. I am your everything!”, “I can’t sleep, I’m suffering, I’ve been cooking here all day for you since night!” The victim turns his life and the lives of those around him into a nightmare filled with an imposed sense of guilt. Everyone begins to avoid him and come into contact with him as little as possible.

And the “victim” herself suffers, since no one wants to fulfill the duty that he constantly presents to everyone. Of course, people do something driven by a feeling of guilt, but no matter how they try to satisfy a person with such a complex, he is always not satisfied. Like a barrel without a bottom, he is never satisfied with what others do for him - because he lives with the thought that his sacrifice cannot be compensated for by anything - it is so great.

The desire to buy relationships is not a healthy trend. The root of such a complex lies in low self-esteem - he simply does not believe that he is valuable in himself, does not believe that he can receive gratitude, attention, love without demanding. In order to get rid of the victim complex, you need to make significant efforts. Sometimes you need outside support.

If you observe signs of such behavior in yourself, then the best way to change yourself is to seek help from a psychotherapist. To schedule a consultation, click on the button below.

Take action and you will succeed!