Emotions, as you know, are not well understood by everyone. and yet they are the key to self-knowledge. Like a road sign, they direct us to the root of the problems - to unresolved conflicts within us.

These conflicts close for us the paths along which our lives could develop. If, for example, you believe that big money cannot be earned honestly, then the path to big money is closed to you. And then it doesn’t matter where you got this belief from – whether it was instilled by your parents, school or books.

As a rule, such a belief gives rise to attachment to the need to have this big money, paradoxically as it may seem. This is the conflict: I want to, but I can’t. The more I “want”, the less “I can”, but it’s difficult to admit this to yourself. It all ends with the person experiencing anger, which is expressed in condemnation of all rich people, and hatred for the lack of money in his own pocket.

In fact, the emotions that arise in this case only indicate the existing mismatch of desires (beliefs, complexes, attitudes) from reality. The rigid position that is formed by these beliefs significantly narrows the field of choice. Therefore, the key to resolving this conflict in psychotherapy lies in helping the client expand his ability to choose - that is, gain flexibility.

These rigid attitudes (also known as complexes or internal conflicts) are a kind of programs that stop working only if the attitude is realized. This is what work with a client in psychotherapy is aimed at. If the client begins to observe his emotions  and by what motives he is driven by - then his internal conflicts are resolved and what has been happening in a circle for years begins to happen differently.

When strong emotions turn on a rich person, for example. Need to see. Is it really righteous anger and a thirst for justice or is it an attitude. You need to ask yourself a question at this moment: “Why am I experiencing this emotion?” If it turns out that you always react so emotionally to some situation, it is clearly inadequate  (excessively) then most likely behind this there is an attitude that you have formed.

Even when  level of creation - you understand that you need to earn money, your subconscious with its program “only thieves have big money” will not allow you to realize your conscious desire on a subconscious level. And only when you see the entire chain of beliefs from beginning to end from the moment the emotion arises: attitude - event - conflict - ban on an alternative  - it stops working and new prospects and new achievements appear in life.

Emotions and feelings are useful, just like the red light on the dashboard that shows you're low on gas or the way pain tells you you've hurt yourself. cut or burned. You can just pull back, refuel, go to the doctor - if it comes to physical sensations. You can do the same with emotions - they are a red light of processes occurring in the soul - internal conflicts between reality and desires.

The tension that a person experiences in the soul is a prototype of the heat of a flame or the effect of a knife on the skin. This tension prompts us to do something with it - pain or a problem that needs to be solved - that is, to pull our hand, refuel, go to the doctor.  If you do nothing, you can get a mental burn, lose your internal “gasoline” or get a serious psychosomatic illness.  If you are aware of emotions, you have a choice - to act or leave everything as it is. When there is no awareness of emotions, then there is not much choice.

The installations or kits themselves are not bad, they are just a rigid design that is not suitable in changing living conditions and circumstances. They slow down development, preventing you from adapting flexibly and adapting to changed circumstances and situations.

How to observe emotions? One of the techniques we have already discussed is awareness. At the same time, observation is not control of emotions, not suppression. There is no point in running from a traffic light. Which shows a red light - you need to stop and realize what it means at this particular moment in this situation. We must agree that this internal traffic light of ours shows and observe the sensations in the body and the associations that this emotion generates. At some point, insight may occur - a sudden understanding of the essence of what is happening and its causes.

At this moment everything will become clear to you, there will be a clear understanding of the situation and what led to it - and therefore the cause of the emotion will no longer bother you as much as before. It is useful to observe emotions early in the morning. At this time, you are in the twilight zone - you are no longer sleeping, but have not yet fully woken up - you can observe what conflict is tossing and turning inside you, see what thoughts and feelings arise at this moment.

With some practice, you can thus become more aware of your inner conflicts.

If you need help from a psychotherapist in working with emotions, click on the button below to sign up for a consultation. 

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