Confidence is what you think about yourself (or more scientifically, your self-image). We can say that it is your ideas about yourself that are your self-esteem, on the basis of which all behavior occurs. If you are not confident in yourself -  it negatively affects your whole life - your relationships with other people, at work and on vacation, and even your relationships with yourself. To gain self-confidence, it is best to work through this with a psychotherapist, but if you do not have such an opportunity now, use these simple ideas to increase self-confidence.

1.       Focus on the positive

When you find yourself thinking something negative about yourself, try to shift your attention to some quality that you like about yourself. Trying to simply stop thinking about bad things or discarding bad thoughts works exactly the opposite; thoughts begin to be obsessive.

2.       Do an audit of the good in yourself

Take the time to create a list of all the things you and other people like about you. Try to have as many items on the list as possible. You may think that some of the items on the list sound too trivial or too small to write down - do it anyway.

3.       Do an environment audit

Think about the people around you. Do they support you, give you confidence, or vice versa? It is important to surround yourself with people who will inspire you and give you confidence in yourself and your abilities and reconsider your relationships with those who do not.

4. Love yourself

Being nice to yourself will definitely boost your confidence. Do what inspires you, praise yourself and give yourself gifts.  Spend more time on activities and things that give you a feeling of joy and happiness.

5. Don't be afraid to try new things

Don't cling to your comfort zone for fear of facing something you can't handle. As you take on things that challenge you, you will find it easier to face challenges, your confidence in yourself and your abilities will increase, and your anxiety will decrease.

6. Speak positively about yourself 

Never talk about yourself in a negative way, don't call yourself names or blame yourself.  Try to treat mistakes with humor, and treat yourself with condescension and love. “I did the best I could in this situation.”

7.  Don't discount praise

When someone praises you, says compliments - just say thank you. There is no need to deny or downplay your merits. Allow yourself to experience the pleasant feelings of praise. You deserve it. 

8. Understand your strengths and focus on them

When you identify what you are really good at doing, your strong character traits, develop them. It's always better to focus on your strengths and not worry too much about your weaknesses. In Soviet school they taught something else - that weaknesses need to be “tightened up.” But this is a wrong strategy. You will never “pull up” your weaknesses to the level of your strengths, so don’t get hung up on it.

9. Don't be afraid to ask a specialist for help

If your uncertainty and low opinion of yourself greatly spoils your life, it would be a good idea to seek additional help from a psychotherapist. In the fight for health, it is important to see blind spots that only an outsider can see and also use tools and methods that will allow you to quickly achieve your goal.  Healthy self-esteem is so important that there is no time to waste waiting for it to appear on its own. And then an active position and a request for help is already a sign of strength and works to increase confidence.

10. Find your style and show it

It is very important to understand yourself and your clothing preferences. This helps you feel comfortable and not experience internal conflict about dressing the way others want you to. The more you express your personality through your style, the more confidence and love you will have for your own uniqueness. 

11. Set SMART goals and reward yourself for achieving them

SMART is an acronym that is widely used in goal setting. In short, the goal must be achievable and measurable. If you achieve a goal, even a small one, it will definitely strengthen your self-confidence. Therefore, if possible, make a list of your goals and tick off their completion. This way you can track your progress.

12. Praise yourself regularly

Every time you look in the mirror, tell yourself mentally or out loud that you are great, that everything will work out for you, that you look great and the day will be wonderful and productive. In the beginning, you may feel uncomfortable with these words and think it's stupid, but over time you will develop a more positive sense of self and self-esteem.

13. Talk about your feelings

If you can’t afford to work more intensively on self-esteem with a psychotherapist now, at least don’t keep your experiences to yourself. You are not alone in your feelings. Just talking about the problem partially relieves its severity and helps to get support from loved ones in the fight against negative thoughts and experiences. To sign up for a consultation with a psychotherapist online or in person in Kyiv, click the button below.

Take action and  you will succeed!