Qualities of a psychotherapist

What kind of psychotherapist am I? I ask myself this question periodically. At the beginning of my professional journey, there were many doubts about whether I was good enough to help others.

Also, at moments of life crisis or when difficult cases arise, the question also arises about what makes me a good psychotherapist.

I think that these thoughts will help you understand what you should rely on when choosing a specialist.

Firstly, it is important that the psychotherapist himself be in the role of a client.

Any quality education requires a certain number of hours of personal therapy, which are required for certification as a specialist.

It is important that he has many years of psychotherapeutic education and practice.

Of course, each person is looking for “their” specialist and this is very individual.  After all, you let him into your life, share your most intimate, often hidden not only from others, but also from yourself. Therefore, it is important what life experience the therapist brings to your life.

In short, we can say that the choice comes down to two components - what kind of specialist he is (education, experience, etc.) and what kind of person he is.

If these two components are suitable (qualification and personality) and produce results in your personal therapy, then in general we can say that the psychotherapist is good for you.

He may be an excellent specialist, but he may not be right for you, that’s okay.

Let's talk in more detail about personal qualities.

Empathy is the ability to empathize (this differs from compassion in that a specialist knows how to distance himself), to emotionally perceive the state of mind.

When no one can completely understand another person, but you can still understand without imposing your opinion. Non-judgmental acceptance is the basis for the client’s trust, without which no therapy is possible.

Emotional warmth refers to sincere interest in others and kindness. This quality helps to go through painful stages in therapy and melt the ice. This is not a sign of weakness, although sometimes people may perceive kindness that way.

Unconditional acceptance is accompanied by trust in a person’s ability to change. Even though the client's affairs may be strange or contradictory, it is all a real part of human life.  It is important not to give advice, but to trust the person that he is able to make the right decisions.

Sincerity is just as important and cannot be faked. People feel false. It takes great courage to be sincere, especially when the therapist is faced with difficult feelings (fear, shame, guilt).

In general, psychotherapy can create tension for both the therapist and the client; it is good when the specialist has a sense of humor and can relieve stress and tension in a healthy way.  Humor is not about escaping life's pain and awareness, but about managing one's response to that reality. This requires a lot of talent and is a good (sometimes the only) way to get around the client's resistance.

The ability to clarify without interpretation is also important. The psychotherapist's speculations and fantasies can greatly lengthen the therapy process by wandering and processing hypotheses that have no basis.

And of course, self-awareness as the ability to be aware of one’s specific “I” and reflection – the ability to comprehend through study and comparison.  This gives the psychotherapist the ability to be attentive to the whole range of reactions and emotions in the process of work.

And of course, the psychotherapist should treat himself with self-irony without “guruism”. There is a great danger in imagining oneself as “the ruler of souls and the arbiter of destinies.” This is a trap for inexperienced professionals who do not yet understand how little of therapy depends on him and how much depends on the client himself and various other factors.

Therefore, modesty, politeness and a respectful attitude are a good help in order not to “catch a star” but to evaluate oneself adequately, understanding that the client hires us to solve their problems, and not vice versa.

Now let's move on to the components of professionalism - the second part of this coin.

Of course, a good psychotherapist must know the theory. Master the techniques, do not bring your own problems into therapy and be a member of the psychotherapeutic community (In my case, USP - Ukrainian Union of Psychotherapists and WAPP - World Association of Positive Psychotherapy).

Psychotherapeutic education never ends; new knowledge and honing diagnostic skills are constantly required. Therefore, the therapist should normally enjoy learning.

The wider the range of techniques and methods, the more flexible the approach to therapy a specialist can choose and the more people they can help.

Of course, the psychotherapist himself must understand his personal characteristics and his psychological problems so as not to project them onto the client and overcome them in personal therapy.

It is also important to understand the boundaries of one’s competence (for this, one must undergo training in psychiatric propaedeutics). If he understands his limitations, he can easily redirect to a colleague or another specialist, realizing that they will be the ones who can help him better.

You can, of course, go into even more detail or list in detail all the qualities that a psychotherapist needs to work, but within the framework of this article this is unrealistic. The work of a psychotherapist is so multifaceted that it requires attention, erudition, the ability to keep a secret, and a huge number of qualities that also affect the success of therapy.

But the most important thing is, of course, how comfortable you are working with this particular specialist. All other things being equal, this has the greatest impact on the success of therapy.

I hope this article helped you understand in general terms what qualities are important for a psychotherapist.

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