Addiction to psychotherapist

Unfortunately, dependence on a psychotherapist is not a myth, but a reality. Many “mountain specialists” contribute to such dependence, mainly because of their greed. This is convenient, since the addicted client will endlessly go to therapy and feed the therapist.
The myth about the effectiveness of long-term, multi-year therapy is supported in some methods (for example, psychoanalysis). The method in which I work is short-term and does not support this ideology. In general, one request usually takes up to 10 sessions. Of course, there are no magic methods that solve the client’s problems in one meeting, but it is also necessary to artificially delay therapy. Nowadays, few people are ready to go to therapy for many years.      Dependent relationships do not solve the client’s difficulties, but cause anger and resentment towards the therapist. This destroys the therapeutic field. And the psychotherapist himself thus violates the ethical standards that exist in therapy.

What is dependence on a psychotherapist?

By definition, it is an obsessive need that forces you to perform certain actions. Mental dependence is a component of addiction as a whole, which involves an attraction to obtaining psychological satisfaction through the object of attraction.
The addiction syndrome itself manifests itself in obsessive thoughts (in our example about the therapist), depression in his absence and elation of mood (in our example from meeting with a psychotherapist). This is difficult to identify; the client often deliberately hides these symptoms.

Over time, the client begins to catch himself thinking that he is dependent on these meetings and goes to them no longer as a job, but on dates. Of course, such a dependence cannot be formed over several sessions. That is why therapy that involves many years of work is more likely to provoke such a syndrome.
An experienced psychotherapist can track such unhealthy manifestations in the client’s attitude towards him and work through obsessive thoughts and states. Charlatans, as a rule, only strengthen this attitude towards them. Sometimes they bring clients to a state where the client is ready to give everything to meet again.

The mechanism of formation of dependence on a psychotherapist

Such dependence does not form in clients with healthy self-esteem. As a rule, it affects people who are prone to self-reflection and fixation on their shortcomings. They are lonely, do not trust people, and have an active inner critic. With an accepting, supportive psychotherapist, they feel happy and needed.  This illusory happiness disappears as soon as the session with the therapist ends. The psychotherapist becomes  drug and there is a thirst for close relationships that are not feasible.  A psychotherapist cannot be friends, be a lover or a spouse. In case of a violation, the ethical commission excludes the therapist who entered into such a relationship from the register.
If you voiced to your specialist the feeling of dependence that has arisen, and he, instead of helping you cope with them, begins to blame you, then it is worth finding another therapist who will help you cope with your feelings.
To avoid falling into such a trap, always read the client’s reviews on the specialist’s website and check whether he has a special education that gives him the right to engage in private practice.
Much depends on your initial attitude towards psychotherapy as a type of activity. The specialist should not be deified or idealized. He is more likely not a guru, but rather a dentist, to whom you came to get a filling or remove a tooth, or a plumber who helps to fix a leak.
The cage of dependence in which a person places himself differs from love in that love is not obsessive in nature and gives to another some freedom. Dependence is based on low self-esteem and thoughts that the client simply cannot live without a psychotherapist.

The path to healthy relationships with yourself and others

 Below are some self-help ideas.
1.      Restoring low self-esteem. Every person is worthy of respect and love simply by virtue of their existence. First, strengthen the foundation of your self-esteem so that you do not fall into strong negative feelings.
2.    It is necessary to cultivate an adult attitude. After all, the child’s position is one of helplessness, dependence, crying and anger when the object of attachment is not available.
3.    Accept yourself and your imperfections. Self-acceptance may be another request in therapy.
4.    Experiencing grief - if you have lost a close relationship and are in dire need of replacement and consolation. To get through grief, you may also need the help of a psychotherapist
5.    Build new social connections. It is important that “emotional eggs” do not lie in one basket. This also requires focused effort.
6.    Look at your dependent relationships from the outside. Try to understand what such a life looks like and where else you can get the support you need, what other resources are available in your life.
Of course, this is not a complete list of what can be done if you are prone to addictions or have already become dependent on psychotherapist.
There are professional experienced psychotherapists who will help you.
If you decide to use my services as a psychotherapist online or in person in Kyiv, I will be happy to help you.
I hope this article will help you be more attentive to yourself and don't be afraid of therapy. To make an appointment with me, click the button below.
Take action and you will succeed!