I'm afraid of a psychologist

We know well about the existence of psychologists. This is a popular profession nowadays. Psychologists are everywhere - in kindergartens, schools, companies, clinics. We often find articles by psychologists and their comments on the Internet, in magazines and on many television shows.

They don’t know much about what exactly psychotherapists and psychologists do. And as you know, the lack of information gives rise to anxiety. To fill the information vacuum, people fantasize about what a psychologist does and often mystify and dramatize, deceiving themselves and scaring them.

It’s clear why this happens. Unlike other professions, counseling and psychotherapy are relatively new areas of knowledge.  Psychologists and psychotherapists work with healthy people.
Any person may need help, since everyone experiences certain psychological difficulties.

The complexity and confusion in the issue is added by a huge number of varieties of methods (out of about 500). Each method of psychotherapy has its own approaches, its own language, its own techniques, and a certain approach to work.

If a person encounters psychological services for the first time, it is difficult for him to understand such diversity.

And of course, there is little understanding of how everyday advice from psychologists broadcast from the pages of magazines, newspapers and television differs from individual work with a client. On the one hand, this creates a clear idea that the psychologist and psychotherapist are giving advice, but in reality the psychologist and psychotherapist are not giving advice.

In general, there is a lot of fog, fog gives rise to mistrust, and mistrust gives rise to fear.

Why is it harmful to be afraid of a psychologist

The psychologist's fear leads to the fact that the psychological problem becomes chronic and neglected.

To help such people you need to put in much more effort than if they had reached out on time.

But you shouldn’t think that there is fear only of the psychologist or psychotherapist himself. A much deeper and less obvious fear of changes in life keeps people from therapy and psychological counseling.

People don't want to change their lives. They want everything to change, but nothing has changed)). It doesn't happen that way. This is a child's view of life.

An adult approach means making an effort to solve your problems. This, of course, requires energy, which, as a rule, people exhausted by psychological problems lack.

On the other hand, for this energy to appear, problems must be solved and an internal resource must be found to overcome. It turns out to be a vicious circle. You need to go to a psychologist or psychotherapist for energy to appear, but there is no energy to get there.

Actually, the most difficult thing is to take the first step and come to a psychologist, and in the case of online consultations, it is to make the first click - that is, press the “sign up” button or write in Viber, telegram or WhatsApp.

Doubts that life can change prevent you from taking this first step.  After all, everyone experiences problems and difficulties in one way or another, but nevertheless does not go to psychotherapists and psychologists.  “It’s just anxiety”, “it’s just stress”, “it’s just a personality trait”, “it’s such a character trait”, “it’s such a temperament” - there are many excuses and explanations for why nothing needs to be done.

If you don’t like work, well, you never know who doesn’t like work, everyone doesn’t like it. Not confident? – well, you never know, not everyone can be sure. If people knew that having problems is not normal and that you can be free, confident, do what you love, enjoy life and finally find yourself with the help of psychological services, then they would more often step over their fear.

Let's look at the main complaints. 

• No trust

The first few meetings, clients often have the feeling that problems are being heard only because they have paid for it. It seems that the person himself is not interesting and if someone helps him, this cannot be explained by anything other than money.  Of course, a psychotherapist cannot be a friend or lover, but this does not detract from the specialist’s interest in you as an individual and his desire to help. Of course, you won’t go far in the profession without payment, but this does not cancel the interest in the client’s personality. Still, people need to be loved. Trust, unfortunately, is a prerequisite for work.  If you don’t trust the psychotherapist, you won’t be able to start this work, much less continue it. So you need to be willing to trust.

• It will only get worse

Opening old wounds is not pleasant. But you can't escape from yourself. Even if we hide the pain and experiences deep inside, they will not disappear - but will turn into suppressed pain that will come out through the body - psychosomatics.

All your experiences are waiting for you to see them, realize them, accept them and let them go.  Otherwise, they will remind themselves of themselves throughout their lives through psychological or psychosomatic problems.

Yes, it hurts to open up.

This argument can be understood. The world is a dangerous place and when we trust other people, there is a danger that someone will take advantage of this trust. Yes, you can sit in your hole for a long time and not come to the surface. It is safe. But what to do if some kind of conflict is so disturbing that sitting in this hole is already unbearable, and even worse, it happens that the hole is completely destroyed as a result of a disaster and something needs to be done to survive. Then it is necessary to act, go into the unknown and learn to live again or acquire the necessary skills for new behavior.

As I said above, psychologists don’t bite. We do not risk our lives by turning to a professional.

It is almost impossible to harm you, because the psychologist works only with the material that you voice, there is an ethical code that creates basic security and confidentiality. At the same time, at any time you can say “stop”, you can regulate the speed and depth of progress in therapy.  The opportunity to change your life outweighs any risks of being injured in therapy or not getting results. For example, in order to help the client trust and understand how suitable we are for each other, I offer an initial free conversation for 15 minutes and give a big discount on the first consultation. Even if you had a negative experience working with a psychologist, do not deprive yourself of the chance to meet “the one” - this will cancel out all the failures; the value of this special relationship is difficult to overestimate.

• I'm afraid to end up with a charlatan

Of course there is such a possibility. In your life you have met amateur dentists, hairdressers, nannies, and builders. In order not to end up with a charlatan, you need to look at the experience and education of the specialist. I have this information posted in the “about me” tab, all certificates and diplomas.  Even if you come across an excellent professional, it may happen that he will not suit you. You cannot have close friendly relations with everyone, in the same way, “your own psychotherapist” is luck. But nevertheless, there is a chance to find “your one” the first time. This is exactly what happened to me.

• My world will collapse

Changes are not always associated with something bad. Psychotherapy -  these are changes that are associated with growth.

Your childhood world has collapsed - you have become an adult. But with these changes came other advantages of the life of an adult - independence, the possibility of self-realization.

Fear of change is common. Living without visible change gives us the sweet illusion of stability and a sense of control.

However, this is just an illusion.  The Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said that nothing is permanent in the world, only change is permanent. The absence of change is essentially the absence of life.  All the possibilities and fullness of life lie in change.

• I'm afraid of dependence on a psychotherapist

I have a detailed article on this subject on my blog.  There really is such a problem. This happens when a person falls into a childish dependent position, as in a relationship with a father or mother. If this is your habitual behavior, and you tend to slip into such dependent relationships, then psychotherapy is just the ideal place to discuss these feelings and break the habitual pattern of behavior, learn how to build healthy adult relationships.
The goal of a psychotherapist is precisely your autonomy, the ability to solve problems on your own. Giving you self-help tools, teaching you exactly how to use them.  The psychotherapist prepares you for life without him, so that you do not suffer when you have an interval in therapy, and you can do without each other.

• I'm afraid they'll judge me

Any person is embarrassed to open up to a stranger. It feels like you will be misunderstood, ridiculed, or judged. There is a feeling that the story is terrible, unique and impossible to cope with.

In fact, it is quite difficult to surprise a psychologist and psychotherapist with extensive experience, such as mine, for example, with a story. Most of the unique and severe problems turn out to be quite typical and standard, with a similar mechanism of occurrence and similar recovery mechanics. Therefore, you will not hear reproaches and condemnation from me. All behavior is human behavior and can be understood.

Moreover, a psychologist is needed precisely to help understand the situation, what is wrong, what is right and what to do about it.

If you are afraid of judgment from other people, then you simply should not share information that you are going to a psychotherapist with those who will judge you. Not all people are able to support. Some will use every opportunity to prick you, bring you down and thus rise above you.

 You shouldn’t judge yourself, you’re not crazy. Psychologists work exclusively with healthy people. A sign of health is precisely the ability to seek help.

It is important to know that no matter how bad you feel, you always have the strength to press the “sign up” button, stop blaming others and finally take responsibility for your life, your decisions and live the way you want. A psychologist and psychotherapist will not bite you; on the contrary, their task is to help you cure the bites that you have accumulated over your life.

Do not think that I am imposing my services. You can easily turn to any other specialist or not turn to anyone at all, but seek support among your loved ones. Or look for help in yourself and some books. 

• I'm afraid that the psychologist will reveal my secrets

The Code of Ethics for Psychologists and Psychotherapists, like the Code for Doctors, very strictly requires the preservation of confidential information. No information can be disclosed without the consent of clients. Even reviews of my services were given only by those clients who gave permission to post their photos and information online. Some only gave written feedback and no photos. I respect the position of any client and do not insist.

• I'm afraid to waste money.

 If you want to work with a psychotherapist, but you have doubts, then you need to admit that these doubts are objective.

After all, unlike buying an iron, the result of the service provided to you by a psychotherapist is difficult to objectively evaluate.

We cannot touch or see with our eyes, so the final result is also subjective and is known through sensations.  But the money that is paid for psychological consultations and psychotherapy is quite tangible and tangible. This is the main difficulty.

On the other hand, you will definitely feel changes in your state, in your thoughts - and, consequently, in your actions and your life. These results will be especially visible and noticeable with regular work and development of reflection skills.

The result largely depends on your motivation, how much you are willing to work to get it. If you want results, you won’t be able to sit back. The psychotherapist will not do your part of the work for you.

Think of it as an investment to improve your quality of life. Invest in your health and well-being. After all, you also feel the results from going to the pool or gym only after several workouts.

• I'm afraid that I'll find out something terrible about myself

Of course, by working on yourself, you can learn unpleasant information about yourself. On the other hand, everything unpleasant that we are not aware of controls us. Therefore, if you don’t work on it and don’t bring it to the level of awareness, it will poison the lives of both us and those around us.

It is better to openly face your “skeletons in the closet”, acknowledge and accept their existence, accept your negative qualities along with positive ones and thus open the way for positive changes.
 

Fears are intrusive and won’t just let you go. After all, then you will get rid of them, and they will not be able to feed on your life like parasites.

Brave people are not those who do not feel fear, but those who act despite fear.

Have courage - call a psychologist and he will help you find a resource to cope with your problems.

Of course, these are not all the fears that people have.

You need to understand that a psychologist or psychotherapist is an ordinary person, not a magician. I don’t have a “magic pill”, magic tools that will solve your problem that has been developing for years in one meeting.

Yes, there is experience, skills, understanding of work, technology, empathy to hear and help you, but a lot depends on you as well.

I hope this article will help you decide and take the first step towards positive changes, despite your fears.

If you decide to work with me, I will be happy to help you as a psychotherapist online or in person in Kyiv. To sign up for a consultation, click on the button below.

Take action and you will succeed!