How to overcome suicidal thoughts and start living

 I think that each of us has friends who have decided to commit suicide in one way or another. The word “suicide” came into my life in childhood, when I learned that the father of one of the older children had hanged himself in the yard.  I don’t know why he did it, but the memories of it are still fresh. Many years have passed, I became a psychotherapist, I want to share my thoughts on what you should not do if you or your loved ones are overwhelmed by thoughts that everyone will be better off without you.

The increase in suicidal feelings in the world is largely due to the division of people through the Internet, the huge amount of information and the fact that the world demands achievements in exchange for very little love and acceptance. A person is forced to present masks to the world instead of his real self, “beautiful photos on Instagram,” while experiencing inner emptiness. The world demands external success and punishes for its absence. As a result, behind the masks that you have to present to others, a person loses himself, especially since no one is interested in you - everyone is busy presenting their masks. This is how emptiness and anxiety creep in.

As a rule, those who are serious do not tell everyone about their desires (although this also happens).  

At the beginning of the path to suicide, they cease to feel the joy of life, and at the end they see no other way to get rid of the feeling of loneliness and gloomy thoughts, like jumping down from a high-rise building, because these thoughts do not They let you relax even for a second and take you by the throat.

A depressed state makes the rest of the world meaningless, a person finds himself behind glass in an airless and inhumane cold space.

If you have gone through such a state, then you understand that the person to whom it is really difficult stops lying that “everything is fine” after several visits and questions. If this is your friend or loved one, then it is worth making the effort to break through this glass and take him to the doctor.

Independent struggle in such a state does not help much. No forays into people, no sports, no attempts to think positively. The endless struggle with oneself is exhausting, especially since this struggle usually involves constant defeats.

Oddly enough, in such a situation of despair, the instinct of self-preservation cannot come up with anything smarter, as “exit out the window” suggests as the only possible way out.

It’s good if the neocortex, which is responsible for awareness of oneself as an individual and analysis, turns on in time and reminds you that you don’t have to jump out the window, and that “everything passes, this too will pass.” But in such a borderline state of stress, it may be too late, and then the moments will be enough for a breakthrough and doing something irreparable.  

If you are on the verge of committing suicide, it is best to tell a psychiatrist or any doctor you know about your condition. Cortisol in a state of stress, unlike adrenaline, tends to accumulate and suppress the production of joy hormones - dopamine and oxytocin, which in turn leads to loss of sleep and even greater production of cortisol. That is why the nervous system is able to remain tense for a long time. For this reason, talking with a psychologist at this stage is unlikely to help - you need to relieve cortisol intoxication with medication - that is, change the biochemistry of the brain. For example, he will offer to drip magnesium. The condition is guaranteed to improve, since the medicine will act directly on the body. Do not think that in such a critical condition you can do without a specialist.  

You need to get out of your state of stupor and move to the doctor, otherwise how will he know about your condition and be able to help?

If you don’t have the strength to go to the doctor yourself, tell others about your condition – in plain text as it is, and not in hints. There is no shame in having problems. In the worst case scenario, they will feel sorry for you, but will do nothing - and then you will finally pull yourself together, realizing that no one will help and go to the doctor yourself. People are just people, don't expect much from them.

After the doctor or psychiatrist relieves the severity of the condition with medication, you can go to a psychotherapist for so-called “combined therapy.” When you go to a psychiatrist once a month, and the other three times to a psychotherapist for conversational psychotherapy.

A psychotherapist will help you figure out what drove you into this state - traumatic experiences, destructive beliefs and help you activate resources that were not obvious. Everyone has their own methods to feel alive, a psychotherapist will help you find them. Psychotherapy does not guarantee relief from anxiety, but it will provide awareness and tools on how to overcome it at the outset. Anxiety is actually a healthy mechanism, just like fear is a warning about possible dangers. At this stage, you can treat it like a rising temperature on a thermometer - recommendations to make some efforts to reduce it. You will learn to withstand circumstances or change them as necessary. Learn to live in uncertainty and enjoy it. In general, you will become a more mature and responsible person for your life. Accept yourself and enjoy the real you, and not the masks that the world requires. To sign up for a consultation with a psychotherapist, click on the button below. 

Take action and you will succeed!