1. Make the effort to find your therapist

Some people are lucky and meet their therapist right away. Others need to work for this with different psychologists - men, women, in different psychotherapeutic approaches (and there are a great many of them). For example, I work in a method called “positive cross-cultural psychotherapy.” For a good result in psychotherapy, you must suit each other, otherwise there will be little sense.

Those who did not benefit from psychotherapy most likely did not make sufficient efforts to find their specialist.

2. It's ok to love psychotherapy or a psychotherapist

Without some sympathy for the therapist, this usually does not happen. After all, you share negative things with him, but he is positive and does not talk about his problems. Devoting 100% of his time to you and only you during the session, he sits in a cloud of mystery and wisdom. An ideal image is drawn. Of course this image is artificial. After all, a psychotherapist is an ordinary person with his own problems, but still in therapy clients tend to see the therapist as a guru or a sage. Over time, this attitude changes to a more realistic one, the psychotherapist becomes an ordinary person who simply accompanies you on a journey to yourself. It is difficult to find another communication, except between mother and baby where 100% of attention and love is directed to you, so it is not surprising that for many, psychotherapeutic relationships become an important part of life.

3. Psychotherapy is work

A psychotherapist cannot give you a magic pill that will solve your problems once and for all.

Instead of taking responsibility for the client, the psychotherapist encourages one to think independently about what is happening, without giving ready-made answers. It is when this awareness and skill of looking at the situation from a different angle comes to the client independently and then a sustainable psychotherapeutic effect is achieved.

It takes effort to move forward. These efforts are also psychological – efforts to understand reality. And active ones - not only to look, but also to sort out dark closets that no one has looked into for years. In my method, there are various exercises and homework, also aimed at awareness and behavior change, if you do not do them, then progress in therapy will be weak.

4. A psychologist is not a girlfriend and that’s good

If you think that your friend is a better adviser than a psychotherapist because she cares, and the psychotherapist is a stranger who listens to you for money, then you are mistaken.

We usually try not to disappoint our loved ones and relatives: therefore, we do not open up completely, so as not to be rejected. Perhaps it's just a defense mechanism and it's hard to turn off. Therefore, the meaning of therapy is lost, since maximum frankness is important for it.

The psychologist has no maternal love for you, no maternal expectations, no assessments - you can be yourself without fear of condemnation.

6. Usually your family is suspicious of the psychologist

Loose ones don’t know what happens at the sessions and what you say there, so there is some jealousy and suspicion towards these conversations. What if you are discussing them?

At the same time, when a person’s behavior changes during therapy, this can frighten others even more. You start to build your boundaries, say no, and do other unusual things. How can one not think that the psychotherapist is deliberately setting a person against loved ones?

The truth is that psychotherapy is not always positively perceived by others because everyone is already accustomed to your behavior and changing it in a positive direction (for you) scares them. In any case, the healthier position is to choose yourself rather than listen to the critical, controlling voices of others.

7.  You get more than you expect

 Clients often say that going to a psychotherapist was a great idea (there are reviews for this on my website) and complain that they didn’t do it earlier.

Despite the fact that you do not take the pills that a psychiatrist usually prescribes, you gradually begin to live more consciously. Recovery occurs gradually along with an understanding of what exactly is happening and how you can behave differently.

You will not get rid of situations that are difficult for you now, but they will no longer be difficult, most likely you will become a better husband/wife and employee/leader. Simply because you will stop playing games that are familiar to most and will be able to build relationships with people more responsibly and constructively.

You won’t become enlightened, but you will definitely change for the better in areas you didn’t even think about before starting therapy.

And you can integrate self-exploration and psychological support into your daily life. Some clients switch to maintenance therapy - occasionally, once a month or several months, in order to talk through important achievements or situations.

I wish you courage and determination on the path of change. I will be glad to help you on this path as a psychotherapist online or in person in Kyiv. To register, click on the button below.

Take action and you will succeed!