Advice from a psychologist: how to increase self-esteem

Self-esteem or the view of one's own self is formed in a child under the influence of parents during childhood. However, even in adulthood, especially since a person is easily suggestible, strangers can overestimate or underestimate his self-esteem.

Self-esteem is understood as the ability to adequately evaluate oneself, one’s personality with one’s strengths and weaknesses.  Even the most gifted person who does not believe in himself will never achieve any heights in life, since he will consider himself unworthy. 

But self-esteem can also be overestimated - when overestimation of one’s abilities leads to pride. Therefore, it is important that self-esteem is adequate. Not high and not low, but as needed.

Low self-esteem leads to life passing you by in doubt, disappointment and uncertainty. If you are tormented by uncertainty, doubts, feelings of inferiority, you need to take care of your self-esteem.

To change this unhealthy situation, you need to learn to look at yourself adequately.  Adequately means balancing desires and possibilities.

Practical steps to increase self-esteem

Here are some helpful ideas to help you along the way.

• Stop self-criticism and castigation. Tell your inner critic “enough is enough.” Decide once and for all not to scold yourself.
• Switch from negativity to positivity. Remember what brings you pleasure (music, film, walk). Even if it’s something very minor, take care of it. These interesting activities are an outlet for you. It is very important to find time for joyful activities in your daily routine.
• Stop comparing yourself to other people. There is no need to devalue yourself. You are unique and inimitable. Focus on your goals and live your life without regard for others.
• Try to make decisions quickly and decisively. Without painfully tossing between options. Live by the principle “I want, I can, I can do it.” Bring things to completion, don’t quit halfway. Unfinished tasks drain your energy, reminding you of failure, while completed ones add confidence and determination to you.
• Overcome difficulties, learn new things. Any new victories, whatever they may be, and new positive experiences strengthen self-esteem. Even trying to gain new experience is also inspiring. After all, you tried!
• Everyone has talents. Find your talents and do something you like. This will definitely boost your confidence and self-esteem. If it’s difficult for you to do this yourself, there are consultations and career guidance tests (I do them too).
• Be grateful. Celebrate your small victories and achievements. “I did the cleaning,” “I went to the theater,” “I helped a friend,” etc. You can do this by keeping a journal and writing it down at the end of the day, even if it only takes a couple of minutes. This will help you re-read and calm down during periods of self-flagellation.
• Become your own friend, take failures philosophically. Don't be dramatic. Everyone makes mistakes. Don't let your inner critic trample on your self-esteem.
• Start running or walking or swimming regularly. It doesn’t matter what it is - any physical activity that brings you pleasure is great. During physical exercise, dopamine is produced, a hormone that lifts your mood and, therefore, silences your inner critic. Meditation or yoga will also help your mindfulness and well-being.
• Stop hanging out with toxic people. On the contrary, strive to communicate with those who charge you with energy and strength. Cut off everything negative, don’t clutter your head with bad news and things that depress you. If a person constantly criticizes you, lectures you, offends you, says nasty things, sooner or later you will begin to believe it. Get rid of those who undermine your self-confidence.
• Become the master of your life. Take responsibility for it, act solely based on what you want, without regard to the opinions of others.

The help of a psychotherapist is a reliable way to quickly restore self-esteem.

Perhaps you have already tried to do some of the above, but you didn’t get the result you want. Perhaps the reasons for your low self-esteem are too traumatic for you and you need the help of a specialist.

I will be glad to help you with this as a psychologist and psychotherapist online and in person in Kyiv. Click on the button below to schedule a consultation.

Take action. and you will succeed!