Let's look at effective relaxation (relaxation) and meditation techniques that will help you unwind, reduce stress and find inner peace.

Relaxation and meditation techniques

In these hectic times, ways to relax and relieve stress are more important than ever.

Integrating relaxation and meditation into your daily routine can be a powerful boost to both your physical and mental well-being.

Let's look at different relaxation and meditation techniques, dive into the science behind their effectiveness, and I'll give you practical tips on how to incorporate them into your life for maximum benefit.

Benefits of relaxation and meditation techniques

Relaxation techniques and meditation have become recognized as excellent tools for relieving stress, calming down and improving well-being.

By applying these practices, you will be able

• Reduce anxiety and depression.

• Improve concentration.

• Increase emotional stability.

• Reduce blood pressure and pulse.

• Strengthen the immune system

In addition, relaxation techniques and meditation have been found to be effective in treating chronic pain.

By incorporating these techniques into your daily schedule, you can reduce pain and better manage discomfort, increase your sense of control over your physical condition, and reduce your dependence on pain medications.

By practicing these techniques regularly, you can improve the quality of your sleep. By calming the mind and body before bed, it is often easier for a person to fall asleep more deeply, recover, and rest during the night. Which results in improved cognitive function (i.e. clearer thinking) and productivity throughout the day.

How to introduce relaxation into every day

Integrating relaxation techniques does not have to be complicated or time-consuming.

By making small but consistent changes, you can reap the benefits of a calm and balanced life.

Here are some tips to help you get started:

1. Set aside a specific time for relaxation: Whether it's a few minutes in the morning or a longer session in the evening, it's important to set aside a specific time for relaxation.

2. Find a technique that suits you. Experiment with different relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery, and find the one that works for you.

3. Create a calming environment. Find a place where there will be no distractions. Consider incorporating elements such as soft lighting, soothing music, or aromatherapy.

4. Practice mindfulness: This can greatly enhance the effectiveness of relaxation. You can focus on your breathing, the sensations in your body, or simply observe your thoughts without judgment. Remember, the main thing is to make rest a priority and remember to rest every day.

Exploring various meditation practices

Meditation is a powerful practice that can help you develop mindfulness and a deep sense of peace within.

Below I will list three popular meditation techniques, each of which has its own benefits.

• Transcendental Meditation (TM): involves repeating a specific mantra silently to promote deep relaxation and transcendence.

• Vipassana meditation. Vipassana, or insight meditation, involves observing sensations in the body and developing awareness of the present moment.

• Loving-kindness meditation: This practice aims to create feelings of love, compassion and goodwill towards yourself and others

Of course, there are many more meditation techniques.

Explore different meditation techniques to find the one that suits you best and matches your personal goals and aspirations.

The science behind relaxation and meditation

Numerous scientific studies have examined the effects of meditation practices on the body and mind. They showed that regular meditation can lead to structural changes in the brain, improve cognitive (thinking) functions and reduce mind wandering and self-referential thinking. In addition, relaxation and meditation have been found to modulate the body's stress response by reducing the production of stress hormones such as cortisol and promoting activation of the parasympathetic nervous system, also known as the "rest and digest" mode. These results provide compelling evidence of the effectiveness of relaxation and meditation techniques in improving overall well-being.

Mindfulness Meditation for Stress Relief

Mindfulness meditation has gained significant popularity in recent years due to its effectiveness in managing stress and increasing resilience. By practicing present moment awareness, you can train your mind to respond to stressors in a more adaptive way.

Here's one of the simplest mindfulness techniques: Focus on breathing without judgment and notice how you feel with each inhalation and exhalation. This way you focus on the present moment and gain clarity and calm.

In addition to formal meditation, mindfulness can also be applied to everyday activities such as eating, walking, or engaging in conversation. By bringing curiosity and an open mind to these activities, you can improve your overall state of mindfulness throughout the day.

Relaxation techniques for better sleep

Adequate sleep is critical to health. However, many people find it difficult to fall asleep or maintain restful sleep throughout the night. Using relaxation techniques before bed or during the day can help improve your sleep quality.

Here are some relaxation techniques specifically designed for better sleep:

1. Progressive muscle relaxation. This technique involves systematically tensing and relaxing each muscle group in the body, which promotes more intense physical and mental relaxation.

2. Deep breathing exercises. Taking slow, deep breaths activates the body's relaxation response and calms the mind.

3. Guided Imagery: Visualize peaceful scenes or engage in a guided meditation designed specifically for sleep to promote a calm state of mind. Experiment with these methods and find the sleep pattern that works best for you. Remember to create a sleep-friendly environment by keeping your bedroom cool, dark, and free of distractions.

Yoga as a form of relaxation and meditation

Yoga is a holistic practice that combines gymnastic postures, breath control and meditation.

The practice of yoga can help relieve physical tension, calm the mind, and promote a deep mind-body connection. By moving smoothly and holding poses, you can develop a sense of relaxation and presence.

There are different styles of yoga: from energetic and dynamic to gentle and restorative. If you Google yoga styles, you can find one that suits your needs and preferences.

Regular yoga practice can not only improve flexibility, strength and balance, but also promote inner harmony.

Guided meditation for beginners

If you're new to meditation and don't know where to start, guided meditations can be a helpful starting point. Guided meditations are audio or video recordings that provide step-by-step instructions and gentle guidance throughout the practice. There are various guided meditation resources available online or as mobile apps.

This way you can choose a guided meditation that suits you best.

As you learn and feel more comfortable with guided meditations, you can gradually move to silent meditation or explore various meditation techniques on your own.

Creating a calming environment for meditation

Creating a conducive environment for meditation can greatly improve your practice. Here are some simple tips for creating a calm atmosphere:

• Choose a quiet place in the house where you will not be disturbed.

• Remove clutter and organize your space to create a feeling of calm.

• Add elements such as plants, candles or soft furnishings to create a calming atmosphere.

• Consider using essential oils or incense that promote relaxation.

By creating a dedicated space for meditation, you send a signal to your mind and body that it is time to relax and enter a state of relaxation.

Combination of breathing exercises with relaxation techniques

Breathing exercises can enhance relaxation techniques and deepen your sense of calm. By focusing on your breathing, you can activate your body's relaxation response and calm your mind.

Here are some simple breathing exercises you can incorporate into your relaxation practice:

1. Deep belly breathing. Place one hand on your stomach and inhale deeply, allowing your stomach to rise. Exhale slowly and fully, feeling your belly gently lower. Repeat several cycles.

2. Box Breathing: Inhale deeply for a count of four, hold for a count of four, exhale for a count of four, and hold again for a count of four. Repeat this pattern several times.

3. Alternate nostril breathing: Close the right nostril with your thumb and inhale deeply through the left nostril. Close your left nostril with your ring finger and exhale through your right nostril.

Experiment with these breathing exercises and find ones that you like. By combining them with relaxation techniques, you will discover a deeper level of inner peace.

Incorporating relaxation and meditation techniques into your daily life can have a profound impact on your overall well-being. Taking time to relax can reduce stress, improve your physical health, and develop a sense of inner peace.

Learn different relaxation techniques, experiment with different meditation practices, and create a calm environment that will support your path to relaxation and self-discovery. Remember that it is constant training and regular self-care that will lead you to a life in harmony.

If, despite regular use of the techniques, you still have stress and you still need psychotherapy, I will be happy to help you. To schedule a consultation, click on the button below.

1. Why psychological help is needed
2. What topics to address
3. What is the difference between psychological counseling and psychotherapy
4. Search for a psychologist-psychotherapist in Kyiv
5. My services as a psychologist: benefits
6. How to make an appointment with a psychologist in Kyiv
7. Cost of consultation with a psychologist in Kyiv

Mikhail Dikiy - psychologist and psychotherapist

Here you can sign up for a face-to-face session with me in Kyiv or online. Most of my clients are adults who care about their quality of life and live in a busy schedule (IT specialists, company executives, Russian-speaking emigrants, entrepreneurs and middle managers).

Why psychological help is needed

Everyone who has used the services of a psychologist understands the difference between “before” and “after”. You find answers and insights that you have been struggling with for years by reading books and talking with friends and family. I was also consulted during the training process and many of my problems also went so far that it’s even difficult to remember.

1. Firstly, psychological self-medication, like drug treatment, is fraught with the fact that your negative psychological state will drag on like a disease.
2. As in the case of a physical illness, a person cannot always determine the causes of his psychological condition and choose the wrong treatment methods accordingly.
3. Help from friends and relatives is wonderful, but there is a risk that your loving loved ones will offer you solutions that are completely unsuitable for you because they do not understand the causes and methods of treatment and measure your situation by themselves.
4. Reading psychological literature as self-medication is of little use due to the fact that your problem is in your “blind spot” and in order to solve it you need an “outside view”, and the view of a professional.
5. The usual ways of solving problems - alcohol, work, sports - do not actually solve the problem, although they temporarily help eliminate symptoms or reduce pain, but in the long term they cannot get rid of your psychological problem.
6. As with a boiling kettle, when it is possible to remove the lid and let out the steam, this greatly relieves the internal pressure, even if the kettle is not removed from the heat (the problem has not been solved).
7. Not all stories can be trusted even to the closest people, even if it is possible to tell, you often don’t want to burden your loved ones with negativity, so it is important to have a person who unconditionally loves and accepts you, but who is not a close relative, but an employee professional
8. It happens that, due to circumstances, there is simply no one to share your pain with and no one to ask for support or advice. Perhaps you are in a foreign country where there are no psychologists who speak the same language and understand your culture; perhaps your schedule or the circumstances in which you are located do not allow you to receive a face-to-face consultation and an online consultation with a psychologist may be suitable for you.

Therefore, if you are tired and have no energy to walk in circles without solving important issues, psychological help is what you need. This is a good way to feel the joy of life again, build good relationships with loved ones and make your dreams and desires come true.

What topics to contact a psychologist with

You can contact me on any topics that concern you. In particular, when you:

• There are self-development tasks
• There are situational problems that are repeated
• It is difficult to find a way out of the situation
• Disturbing emotional state
• Fears, obsessive thoughts, depression
• Difficult relationships, divorce, jealousy, loneliness
• You don’t know what the problem is, but you want to find out
• I can’t build good relationships at work or at home

A more complete list of topics can be seen on the main page.

What is the difference between psychological counseling and psychotherapy

I also do psychotherapy, the list below will help you understand the difference between these similar services.

1. A psychologist does not work with mentally ill people when your condition falls outside the neurotic spectrum
2. Rational approach and solving situational problems.
3. Great activity and independence of the client
4. In psychotherapy, the nature of the complaint is associated with the inability to control oneself (lack of resource), while in psychological counseling the complaint is associated with a lack of understanding of how to do this (there is a resource)
5. In psychological counseling, the focus is on changing individual attitudes and aspects of the personality; in psychotherapy, the focus is on the entire personality as a whole.
6. The relationship with the client is more formal; there is no focus on transference and counter-transference in the relationship with the therapist, as in psychotherapy.
7. Consulting is usually shorter-term – up to 5 meetings.
8. Psychotherapy requires long-term work, the client’s ability to introspect and introspect; this is a more complex format of work.

Search for a psychologist-psychotherapist in Kyiv

Now a huge number of specialists offer their services in Kyiv. To find your psychologist, you first need to look at his experience, education and client reviews. And of course, use your intuition

If you see that the psychologist is qualified and experienced, talk to him before you pay for his services. Of course, in psychological counseling, the personality of the psychologist is not as important as in psychotherapy due to the short-term nature of the work and the nature of the contact, but it is still better if you feel that the psychologist understands you, he has a clear structure and understanding of how to work with your request and feel comfortable with it.

I always offer this 15-minute conversation for free before the consultation. This way, clients don’t have to spend money if we don’t suit each other. This is convenient and removes the fear that the psychologist, having received the money, will disappear with it. Of course, the cost of the services themselves also matters. The more experienced the specialist, the more expensive his services, but everyone can find themselves a specialist within their means. I will be glad to help if you choose me.

My psychologist services: benefits

1. I treat every client with respect, without judgement, evaluations or labels, regardless of what they decide to do.
2. I am constantly improving my level (you will see this from the abundance of certificates), I regularly take intervisions and supervision
3. I will be honest, if during the initial conversation I understand that I cannot help or I have doubts, I will redirect to the appropriate specialist or tell you in what format I can help.
4. If I see that there is no real need for my services, I will not impose them. The quality of work is more important to me than meaningless meetings.
5. I guarantee confidentiality and anonymity (they are regulated by the ethical codes of USP and WAPP of which I am a member)
6. I don’t work with absolutely all requests, I understand my limitations.
7. You can always get to know me before the consultation, read my articles, talk.
8. I have a flexible work schedule - I can work promptly and on weekends by agreement.
9. I offer my 10 years of experience and success in consulting various clients.

How to make an appointment with a psychologist in Kyiv

I usually receive in an office near the Levoberezhnaya metro station. But if you want, we can rent an office hourly in your area as needed.

Call +38 096 216 94 11

To sign up, click on the “sign up” button below  me or write in any convenient way of communication that you will find on the “contacts” tab.

Cтоимость консультации  психолога в Киеве

Очный прием в Киеве будет дороже чем онлайн консультации так как необходимо дополнительно оплачивать аренду (это около 80-150 грн в час). Конечно  нужно учитывать еще ваши расходы и время для того, чтобы проехать на консультацию.

В целом онлайн услуги удобнее и дешевле при том же качестве, но реальная встреча может быть комфортнее некотоым клиентам. Цены на услуги психолога можете посмотреть на главной странице.

Shame is one of the most terrible feelings. In many languages there is an idiom “to fail (burn) out of shame” - a person is so embarrassed for himself that he wants to burn, destroy himself and disappear. Fear of shame or shame of shame can drive a person into a state of panic at the time of interaction with other people.

  Some people contact me because they have encountered a barrier in their lives that they can't get past. Others encounter a loss or crisis that sends their whole life into turmoil.

How coaching is different from consulting and mentoring? This question you need to have answered before you decide to use coaching as a tool to improve your life and reach your goals. Let me know if you decide to use my coaching services.

Why Do organizations use coaching? What are the areas where coaching services can help a company to improve? Please take a look at this picture. If you decide to use my coaching services online.

Coaching is one of the very effective tools both for organizations and individuals. Here is some data are taken from various research taken by several trusted organizations. Let me know if you decide to use my coaching services.

If you think about the material effects of coaching for your life or your organization here are results of research that visually represent the effectiveness of coaching. Let me know if you decide to use my coaching services.

If you think about how coaching can help. Here is information about the non-material effects of coaching for you to consider. Let me know if you decide to use my online coaching services

Here is another visual representation of the coaching process. I hope you will find it helpful. Let me know if you decide to use my coaching online services.

When you are thinking about coaching it's important to understand the process of coaching. It helps you to have more control and reduce anxiety. Let me know if you need my coaching services.

When you discuss a contract with your coach let his picture be of help. Let me know if you need my coaching online services.

What is the difference between coaching IN organization and coaching OF organization? Here is the answer. Let me know if you need my coaching

The picture is worth a thousand words. I hope you find it helpful. let me know if you need my coaching services

Coaching in the organization is a multi-level tool that can help various aspect of organizational life

Often clients ask how many sessions they need to solve their issue.

To understand what you need, it might be helpful to look at different levels of psychotherapy.

Levels are not starting from consulting or giving psychological advice.

Please think about this deep thought and act accordingly. I Will be happy to help you find your calling

I can't add anything to this wise statement. Please think about it and act accordingly.

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

In psychotherapy and coaching exists an agreement or contract.

A contract formulates the expectations of the therapist/coach and client.
Usually, before work begins we agree on a contract (often verbally, but better when these expectations are written out)

3 parts of the contract to start online psychotherapy:

Psychotherapy - is on one hand a relationship, on the other, it’s a service. It is a job that has to be paid, the money included in the process of helping the client, and plays the role of psycho-therapeutic factor: even for the poor man, it is important to make the amount of money paid for each session substantial.

Often a client comes to me expecting me to make a choice for him.

But unfortunately, that's not what psychotherapy is for. The reality is that the responsibility for the decision you make lies with you, you are responsible for the consequences of your decisions.

The point of psychotherapeutic or coaching work is to create conditions in which you will find your solutions, and not to give ready-made template advice and solutions.
So why is it so difficult to make a decision yourself? Why is it necessary to shift responsibility to someone else?

The master asked the student:

- What does the air taste like?
The student sniffed the air and said what it smelled like.

- Well, you can distinguish smells, so what does the air taste like? asked the master

again

If you cannot change the situation, first change your attitude towards it.

The already adult daughter came to her elderly father for advice, in despair that her life is not turning out the way she would like it to. Dad, I just can’t anymore, troubles have piled up, it seems that I can’t get out of them anywhere, the feeling that I am constantly fighting a strong current and it is constantly carrying me away, I am not moving forward, and my strength is already running out...< /p>

1. If this is your business, you can do it almost always, even if you feel bad and circumstances interfere.

2. You are almost instantly immersed in the process of work and remain in a focused state for a long time. In a way, focusing is like deep meditation. Everything that surrounds you loses its meaning and time flies unnoticed.

ВSo what is the story of the Princess who was stolen by the Dragon and who is waiting for the Prince?

- Nothing complicated. Dragons live happily and long with Princesses.  Do you know how long a dragon can live, especially when it is happy and healthy?

I could only praise myself for how long I lasted in the marriage. But it all ends, one day I found myself with my things on the threshold of my mother’s apartment with her son.

Mom hugged me carefully and put the tea on. After I calmed down a little and poured out all the troubles of my married life on her, she said:

1 Smile more - a joyful woman is the best compliment to a man

2. Regardless of whether you share his passion for some nonsense or not, you need to at least pretend that you respect this hobby and his opinion about the fact that “the Earth is square.” It is your task to believe, support and trust.

Gurevich sells flowers on the street corner.
- Sir, buy your wife a bouquet!
- I don’t have a wife.
- Then the bride.
- There is no bride either.

Sometimes we just don't see the full picture and make the wrong decisions. A psychologist, psychotherapist and coach will help you see your blind spots that you need to know in order to make the best decisions.

As a task, participants in the “The Path to Happiness” training were asked to write down their wish, put it in an inflatable balloon, and after the balloon was inflated, mark their name on it.

The balance model helps to analyze the current conflict by area. Someday I will write a detailed article about this. For now, let there be a picture.

If you want to work on your areas of life, sign up for a consultation.

A person who cannot ask for forgiveness is bound by a chain to those he has offended.

The psychology teacher asked the students.

- Why do you think people yell when they swear?

- Because they can’t talk calmly - answered one of them

The psychotherapy teacher, holding a glass filled with water in his outstretched hand, asked the students.

- How much do you think the glass weighs?

Students began to make guesses

- 250 grams! No, 350! Maybe even 400! – hypotheses were heard.

- In order to find out for sure, you need to weigh the glass. But that is not the question.

My friends often ask me: Are people really not able to deal with their problems themselves? Why do they need psychologists and psychotherapists? How do people who don’t go to psychologists cope with problems?

I usually answer this that in fact there are several strategies: endure, ask for help from friends or family, or run away from problems into work, alcohol, or some other way to forget yourself.

«Yes, of course,” “I’ll do it,” “of course, I’ll help” - have you ever said such phrases in your life? And how often have you thought, “Damn, how did he (she) got me?”, a desire appeared to do something very bad to a person who was only guilty of once again, with your consent, “burdening you.”  And once again, the unpleasant proverb “he who is lucky, gets loaded” has come true in your life. 

Women who have given birth to a baby and are experiencing the joys of motherhood for the first time find that their own personality has suddenly “disappeared.” There is only the child and his problems and needs. They constantly find themselves unable to switch gears and think even for a short time  About Me. Of course, this is normal for any responsible mother. It is important to take care of the child and give love and care when he needs it most.

In the “pre-Internet” time, there was a belief both in the psychotherapeutic and medical communities, but there is only one effective way to communicate with a client - face-to-face.

But with the advent of the World Wide Web, this previously unshakable belief was called into question.

Check out these statements and see what answer you have to that: “yes’ or “no”   

1.     There are personal issues that I cannot solve myself
2.     I have lost a sense of joy and enjoyment in life
3.     In the last five years, I have been cheated, divorced by a loved one
4.     My loved one died recently

Who needs and who is contraindicated psychotherapeutic groups

Before we talk about who needs and who doesn’t need psychotherapeutic groups, let’s first understand what they are and how they work.

Interest and trust in psychological services is gaining momentum in our country somewhat late compared to the Western world.

In the countries of Western Europe and America, psychological services have long become commonplace. Going to a specialist in soul healing has become as much a daily part of life as going to a personal training session with a trainer at the gym or an appointment with the dentist. Often in films and TV series we hear the phrases "my psychotherapist", "my psychoanalyst", "my lawyer", "my doctor".

Masculinity and male initiations in different cultures is the topic of my report at the conference of positive psychotherapy.

John Gabriel lost 100kg of body weight in 30 months with a renewed mindset and approach to food. Order is needed, first of all, in the head and in life in general - then the body will be in order - this is the essence of his approach.

A detailed list of diseases from A to Z that may be caused by negative emotions. Of course, this list is quite controversial, but some patterns are clearly visible. The illness of the body is not always associated with emotions, but their obvious influence is often visible when there are no visible medical indications and doctors cannot find the cause. Read this to analyze your life and health.

If you think that only lack of sleep undermines your strength, you are deeply mistaken! Share this information with your friends! They will also benefit from this information. Many very insignificant things that you do not do (or do) can exhaust you as much as insomnia, both mentally and physically.

About how important it is to be accepted and loved unconditionally in childhood.

Have you found yourself thinking that romantic songs often resemble lullabies? “I will not give you to anyone, I will take you in my arms, you are mine” - a line from a parent, “I am yours, take me in your arms, do not give me to anyone” - a line for a little girl - a child. How many of us have been loved with unconditional love so much that we are completely nourished by it for the rest of our lives? Many of us still carry our childhood scars, the lack of love and unconditional acceptance in childhood.

This story colorfully describes one very important principle in psychology.

The psychologist began  seminar by holding up a 500 ruble bill.

Young and very promising pilot, the hope of the American Air Force suddenly began to behave somewhat inappropriately. He began to drink a lot, break shop windows, and was caught for theft more than once. In the end, his wife could not stand it and left him, and in 1959 he ended up in a psychiatric hospital.

 Useful test, save it to your wall and share with friends! As you know, low self-esteem underlies many psychological problems.

As you know, most problems in life are the result of our incorrect thinking, that is, psychological problems. Psychotherapy will help you cope with almost all these habits.

1. Self-pity

The victim complex arises from the desire to be correct in order to gain approval from people. This is, of course, hidden egoism, a claim that you are morally better than others, almost a saint)). You've probably met mothers in your life who “live for their children” and constantly tell their children about this. They become voluntary  sacrifice, they go to the scaffold, to which no one called.

Let's understand the definition first.

CGreek (empatheia – empathy) – an understanding that has no rational explanation. The ability to comprehend the inner, emotional world of another. Accordingly,  empath -  is a person with a developed ability of empathy. 

Emotions, as you know, are not well understood by everyone. and yet they are the key to self-knowledge. Like a road sign, they direct us to the root of the problems - to unresolved conflicts within us.

To avoid the traps that we set for ourselves and understand our “mind games.”

1. Some people think that if they work less, their happiness will immediately increase.

How to achieve the goal?

It happens that we set ourselves a wonderful goal. We believe in its achievability, and begin to take the first steps towards it, but after the first bump we give up,  and turn back.  Of course, we begin to justify ourselves that we did not have enough strength, the conditions were not what we needed, the weather was not the same, and the goal was not so desirable! Do you know how this happens? Well there you go!  So how can you not lose faith in yourself with the first difficulties and still achieve what you want? Here are some useful rules:

Do you want to improve your performance?  Save it to your wall so you don’t forget!

From 6-7 am – long-term memory works best, all information is absorbed easily.

From 8-9 – logical thinking is activated, at this time it is best to do things related to analytics and memorization.

If you find it difficult to plan or tend to put off achieving your goals, there is one useful tool. Save it to your wall so you don’t forget!

In transactional analysis, the term “racket feelings” is used to describe unhealthy feelings.
Racket is a term that describes a situation where something is taken away from us, isn't it?

How are they different from negative feelings? We call negative those feelings that are unpleasant to us - anxiety, guilt, boredom, etc.  What a person does is determined by the feelings that we want to experience or that we avoid.

Listen, why are you reacting like that?  You are so emotional! Too sensitive! Don't be so tense! Breathe deeply! Yes, I'm kidding, don't you understand jokes at all? There is no need to make a drama out of everything! Set it and forget it!

Have you heard something similar addressed to you from your husband, boss, girlfriends, employees or relatives?
Usually such phrases are heard in response to your emotional reaction to some of their actions or statements.
Don't think that this is just carelessness on their part.  That's when a person is late - this is inattention.  And such phrases are pure manipulation.

Such manipulations present women as mentally unbalanced, too vulnerable, illogical creatures.
All this is based on the idea that a woman only needs to be slightly offended for her to have an excessively inadequate and illogical reaction.  Such manipulative behavior is described by the word Gaslighting (convincing another of his abnormality and inadequacy).  This word is taken from the movie GASLIGHT. 

It all starts with the fact that parents lay down the idea that “you are the eldest (senior) and therefore you must be stronger, smarter, give in, take care and be responsible for everything.  This sense of duty and guilt (when you suddenly begin to think about your needs and desires too) gives birth to “rescuers”. And even when the younger ones grow up and can already completely take care of themselves, this attitude that one must live exclusively for others is already firmly rooted in the head.

 I offer you reflections on addictions by Gabor Mate, a fairly well-known Canadian addiction specialist. Gabor believes that "any type of drug acts as a pain reliever.  When people experience emotional pain, the same part of the brain that responds to physical pain, such as a fracture, reacts to it.

When you have a headache, nausea, back pain, or something else, and the therapist says after the examination that he sees no abnormalities - then it is probably psychosomatic reaction. That is, the connection between our thoughts, feelings and what happens in our body due to stress, resentment, fear.

 How to help so as not to fall into a trap? From the point of view of transactional analysis, relationships are a game in which everyone has their own role. More often than not, we always take on these roles unconsciously - and end up in the so-called “Karpman triangle” or “triangle of fate.”

3-levels of acceptance by parents

Share with your friends!

When a child comes into this world, it is critically important for him that his parents accept him - this is a need, the satisfaction of which determines what kind of life he will have.

If we decipher this need for acceptance into words, they will sound like this: “Can I be myself?”

Do you need to express your feelings or  Is it better to keep everything to yourself? Share this article with your friends or save it to read later. We keep in the recesses of our souls for many years, we put into a dark closet everything that hurts, everything we don’t want to think about, until this closet grows so much that it occupies most of our inner world, leaving no room for our personality.< /p>

Often when communicating with our parents we experience mixed feelings - on the one hand, these are the people we love, on the other hand, sometimes if a stranger spoke to us like that, we would simply send him and no longer communicated with him.

Research suggests that only 30% of those who really need the help of a psychologist seek it. What happens to the rest? They go to hospitals, where they are redirected from one room to another and cannot help, or they quietly suffer on their own, tormenting their loved ones.

(based on a lecture by Alfried Lenglet)

If your inner motivations and feelings are unstable when communicating with other people, you may be experiencing borderline disorder.

All people, to one degree or another, think about what love is. Almost the entire world culture is filled with stories about love in various forms - painting, literature, sculpture.

All people, to one degree or another, think about what love is. Almost the entire world culture is filled with stories about love in various forms - painting, literature, sculpture.

In order to use any device, it is important to understand how it works. Unfortunately, we often start reading the instructions when the device breaks down. I don’t want to draw parallels with the brain, but knowing its capabilities, what helps it and what hinders it will definitely help you increase your productivity and reduce stress. As you know, the more information you have, the less uncertainty, fear, and the more confident you act.

Нарцисс – человек, который уверен в своей исключительности. Он – самый-самый. Остальные люди нужны исключительно для того чтобы любоваться его совершенством, при этом он в глубине души глубоко несчастный человек, который вынужден сражаться со своей пустотой и болью.

It doesn’t take much for a person to fall into the black hole of depression. You went to bed late, mindlessly surfing the Internet, you wake up late in a broken state, everything annoys you, and you can’t bring yourself to go somewhere. Depressive thoughts fall on you like a snowball and now you are already in a black hole of hopelessness. How little we need to fall and how much strength we need to put in to get up! If your depression lasts less than two weeks, then you can fight for your well-being on your own or with the support of a psychotherapist. If you already have long-term clinical depression (major depressive disorder), unfortunately, you cannot do without pills; you should immediately seek help from a psychiatrist.

С ростом популярности психологии и психотерапии вы все чаще слышите от своих знакомых фразу «надо завершить гештальт». Gestalt - форма, структура (c немецкого) термин - который означает цельные, несводимые к сумме своих частей, образования сознания. Примером гештальта может быть восприятие мелодии, которое не сводится к сумме ощущений звуков. Это понятие в психологии распространяется на любые целостные и неделимые физические и социальные феномены.

If you're wondering how to maintain a happy relationship, you might find these thoughts based on Alison Renner's article helpful.

You've probably met couples who are only geographically together, but live their lives alone. In order to become a real team you need to become more conscious; unity requires focused effort.

Clients often come to me with this request. “How can I make him leave his wife for me?”, “How can I make her love me?” - popular variations of this request. This is a so-called request for a “third party” - something that a psychotherapist does not do; he cannot influence a person who is not in the office with him. There can be a huge number of variations of such a request - your feeling is not mutual, the habits of a loved one are annoying, the boss does not raise the salary, the client is too picky - “do something with him.” 

Clients often come to psychological counseling with this question. To better understand how to deal with a problem, you need to see its roots.

Ideas about love have changed over the past few centuries, from economic and social function, to romanticization in the Middle Ages, to the idealization of unrequited love. Now the world is dominated by the idea that love is some kind of powerful force that, with the help of a chemical reaction, itself attracts people to each other. There is a lot of infantilism in this idea, the desire for the world/God to give what is needed, to avoid responsibility for decisions made, and the desire to transfer it to some external forces.

A hysterical personality can be recognized from afar - by approaching loud laughter, bright clothes and theatrical gestures. If you are such a person, then you definitely won’t be bored, although you can tire everyone around you with your constant thirst for attention and the fact that you tell any news like a whole theatrical performance.

The meaning of psychotherapy has not changed for more than a hundred years - to become aware of what is happening in the unconscious and to reconcile consciousness with what is happening in the unconscious in order to have greater freedom. It is known that the unconscious controls us. If we are aware of something, then we acquire the ability to change how we act with what we are aware of.

It seems that the idea that there could be any benefit to illness is quite absurd. After all, everyone knows that illness is something extremely unpleasant and causes a certain amount of suffering.

In fact, visible illness may simply be an expression of unconscious needs that cannot otherwise be satisfied.

A company that provides acting training asked me to write an article to answer a frequently asked question from clients.

(based on a lecture by Gunter Horn)

1. FIRST PHASE – SCHIZOID

 As the child develops, the desire to merge with the mother is replaced by a desire to separate.

If in the mother’s womb the whole world seems to the baby to be part of himself, then as freedom increases, schizoidness appears - (shiza or in Russian “schizma” - split) splitting.

A baby's basic need is survival, and survival requires a sense of security. The need for security is basic and almost never fully satisfied.

A frequent client request is: “help me harmonize my life.” What exactly do you want to harmonize? And here the client often falls into a stupor.

(based on the book “The Leverage Principle” by Rob Moore)

Rob Moore is a successful millionaire who shares his time management and business management secrets.

Usually, when we make a to-do list, we write on it absolutely all the tasks that we want to complete, in the end they turn into an “elephant” which is unclear from which side to “bite” - that is, it is not clear what task to start with first. Obviously, you need to start with the most important one, but since it is complex, you end up starting the list with the simplest and most enjoyable one. To celebrate the first victory, he usually goes deeper with surfing social networks, and, having rested, again returns to the idea that he still needs to master an important task. But again he chooses something simpler. Then he remembers that he did something yesterday and happily decides to write it down and immediately cross it out! Hooray! New victory! But an important point has not yet been made, and it is starting to get on my nerves. Installing an application on your phone to overcome this issue and even buying a fitness tracker do not help ((. 

Based on the book “The Brain with Obstacles” by Theo Tsaousidis

Man's most powerful tool is his brain, but it also creates his biggest problems. If we learn to control the brain, we will gain access to unlimited possibilities.

You can manage your brain through awareness (understanding your thinking glitches and what causes them) and engagement (taking steps to achieve your goals).

Thinking failures stop us and force us to imitate work, we become passive and lose productivity.

Based on the book “Habits for Life” by Sean Young

In his book, Sean gives a great example of how he was scared of a huge mountain that he had to climb. His friend gave him great advice: “Forget about the rock - don’t worry about how to get to the top. Don't plan ahead, just think about the next step." This helped Sean overcome his fear and climb to the top.

Of course, psychotherapeutic relationships develop at different rates for different people. Some people trust and open up right away, while others need to spend a lot of time on this. It's not bad, we're just all different.

Communication with others is something we encounter every day. But unfortunately, at school and in college they don’t teach how to communicate correctly, but our social success—success at work and in relationships—depends on it.

Communication skills fall under the umbrella of emotional intelligence. Let's improve these skills together and look at typical communication mistakes that destroy relationships with others.

What NOT to do in communication: 9 common communication mistakes

Perhaps you have already reached such a stage in your awareness that you can track when negative emotions arise in you.

What expectations are we talking about? For example, these are the child’s expectations that the parents will finally understand what you are going through and hear what you want to convey to them, or vice versa, you cannot understand them. Maybe you are looking for such understanding from your colleagues, your boss, or your spouse. Or maybe the dream you have been striving for for a long time has disappeared like morning fog?

It’s no secret that the amount of information is increasing exponentially every year. We become distracted, memory declines and the ability to think creatively fades away.

It is important to understand that despite the fact that we can do several things at the same time, our brain is not “sharpened” for such multitasking. He can either accept information, or reflect on it, or deal with solving a specific problem.

(based on materials from the book “Psychoanalytic Diagnostics” by Nancy Mc Williams)

Often from clients I hear confusion in terminology, so it will be useful to understand and sort out terms related to personality types using the ingenious systematization of the famous psychoanalyst Nancy Mc Williams, which she described in her famous book "Psychoanalytic diagnostics."

Confidence is what you think about yourself (or more scientifically, your self-image). We can say that it is your ideas about yourself that are your self-esteem, on the basis of which all behavior occurs. If you are not confident in yourself -  it negatively affects your whole life - your relationships with other people, at work and on vacation, and even your relationships with yourself. To gain self-confidence, it is best to work through this with a psychotherapist, but if you do not have such an opportunity now, use these simple ideas to increase self-confidence.